Spencer the Showjumping Lamb

Those sheep. I am sick of them.

There is one of them, Spencer, who is a Leicester Blue Cross - why he is cross I have no idea as I am the one who is cross.

He doesn't think he is a sheep. Not sure what he thinks he is but it entails following us about, sneaking in from the field, coming into my stable. He was in there tonight, mum was taking our coats off - we had snow today - and there he was, bleating away about something or other and try to reach my manger - fortunately it is Vodka donkey height so too high for a stupid sheep. Wherever you turn, there he is, Ram Raiding the feed bins, generally being a nuisance.

Mum and Dad have spent a lot of time landscaping around our field so that it is nice for me when I walk past. In time there will be nice willow hedges - protect me from the wind - and there are lots of nice rowan trees, birch trees, all sorts of things to make our field area look nice and posh. I have advised on the planting of course and it looks pretty good to me.

Of course the downside of that is that we are not supposed to eat any of the things that have been planted. I find this a bit tiresome, as for example a nice bit of beech hedge - you can't beat it for flavour. Trust me I know. Green or copper beech, this is a firm favourite with donkeys.

To protect the planted areas, there is a triple strand electric fence - so donkey proof sadly unless you are wearing a full armour rug and are very careful with the nose and head - and the gateway has 4 springy coil things that pull across and give you a zap if you get too close - mum is always zapping herself I think she gets more benefit from the electric fence than the rest of us put together.

Now getting back to this Spencer fellow. He is a wooly jumper and wooly jumpers have a very thick fleece that pretty much insulates them from being zapped. It only really works on him if he is daft enough to touch it with his nose. Betty, one of the other sheep, did that and she did a lot of bucking and kicking afterwards!

Anyway, he jumps THROUGH the strands - mum saw him jump about 2'6 and in between the top two coils of wire - pretty zippy I think. She is contemplating a new career for him at local shows as a showjumper.

He was also caught wandering about with a large bit of willow in his chops - now chops is something that could be produced if he continues to be a naughty boy. Mum is still smarting from the fact that when he had to have his bits off, they could only find one, so he had to go to a proper hospital and have major surgery to find the other one....she is not impressed by the idea that she may have to pay a lot of money to Spencer proof the fencing, given how much she has already spent on electric fencing it....People kept suggesting that he would be good in the freezer - don't understand that myself unless it's where they keep the pina colada and things like that.

Spencer, if I were you, I would give up ideas of Hickstead or Olympia and go back to being a sheep. Mum says you are on very very last warnings...