Cazaux Has A Pension Fund

My old friend Cazaux, happily living at Donkey Heaven aka Scottish Borders Donkey Sanctuary, is now a very lucky donkey, not only does he have a new home for life but he has a PENSION.

Aimee donkey is, I hate to admit it, clever. She does these things called Street Collections, where she goes to a town centre and hangs around and eats polo mints, apples, carrots (oh and not forgetting she gets her feed bucket and haynet as well). For some reason, people give her money - this is the bit I can't figure out. I mean I haven't worked out what useful function she performs yet so why give her money? Oh well, no accounting for it.

Anyway, she was in Ayr, a local seaside town, on Saturday and she posed and preened and generally did her stuff from 1030 in the morning to 430 in the afternoon - rather her than me, I was in the field all day chilling out. People brought her gifts - like organic carrots from Marks and Spencers - and she stood there like a little spotted princess and ate and slept. Mum says we won't mention about her lifting her tail and mum having to get the rubber gloves and plastic bags out.

Mum says that this is all well and good, people get worried that the little donke may be tired, but little donkey had breakfast before she left, then her bucket at lunchtime, plus a running buffet all day and has four legs to stand on - mum had a cup of tea before she left, having mucked out all the stables, hung up haynets etc for the return of the conquering heroine - and no one thought of feeding her a sandwich or a nice hot cup of tea. She also would like it to be noted that her feet and back were giving her gipp but no one asked how she was.

I suppose I can see her point. Anyway Aimee, bless her little cotton socks, raised £588 and this has been given to Cazaux as his pension - Donkey Heaven says that will pay his expenses for a year, so they are very pleased. I hadn't realised that donkeys cost so much every year - does this mean that mum has to spend all this money on me as well?

Maybe better not ask that question I suspect.

Vodka Donkey Goes for Full Brazilian

Really she has done it this time - I have been SHAVED. I feel so exposed, so embarassed, even my little girly bits are on view now, particularly as my tail hasn't grown back yet.

I know I was very very matted. I know that it hurt as the mats were right down to my skin. I know that the comb and the scissors didn't take the mats out. I know it had to be done.

But I am NAKED. I feel I should be in the Olympics playing beach volleyball or something. She who claims she is my stylist got this funny thing that makes a lot of noise and whoosh, all my hair was gone. It carpetted the stables - maybe this is a new type of bedding for the winter. And there I was exposed for all to see.

Mum says well it does show that I am no longer a skinny donkey as there is a large tummy peaking out. But I look ridiculous.

Please someone out there send me a modesty blanket.

Five More Donkeys Need To Be Saved

Mum is very upset - she says if I look at the http://www.equinesection.com/ website it will break my little Vodka heart as there are five donkeys there, going to the great salami factory and some of them are super urgent and may be dead donkeys before long.

I had almost forgotten about this, I have been concentrating on myself, eating lots of summer grass, getting fatter, winding up Ferguson by flirting with him (he needs a step ladder to reach Vodka bits so I am the ultimate tease...) and making Aimee jealous.

It quite takes up all my time, just enjoying being a donkey who was lucky enough to get the special banner that saved me. Mum says with the credit crunch (what is this - a chocolate bar or meusli bar....sounds interesting) it is going to be harder and harder to get the money to buy the special spangled banners that save sweet and kind donkeys like these.

She is using up all her limited brain cells trying to find ways to help them, but she may run out of time. It's very sad, they are all boys, all young, but the fact that they are boys with bits make them the hardest to buy the special banners for, as they need operations when they get to the UK and safety so that they can't annoy innocent Vodka donkeys by trying to lead them astray and make baby donkeys (my mum told me about this sort of thing).

It makes me sad that I am a happy, contented donkey, with all my life ahead of me, full of fun (despite the recent rain on my parade and having to go back into rugs and galloshes), enjoying my first summer of freedom and there are my friends, doomed, destined for the bad lorry to take them to their deaths. Life isn't fair, death is even more unfair.

What can I do? Is there anyone out there?

Is there anyone out there? Finding homes isn't the problem, it's finding the dosh to buy them and bring them to safety.

Maybe if I gave up my dinner (I get special nice donkey food in my manger every night) it would help. Mum says no, I can still have my dinner, as it isn't that much but I will need to think big picture...Not sure what this means but I will try.