My Pregnancy Scare is Over

Vodka donkey will not be having a baby Vodka donkey - mum had been concerned that I might be carrying Cazaux junior, given that he still had his bits and we were 'close' but it was not to be - I have been rampantly in season, scaring the living daylights out of poor diminutive Ferguson who would need a step ladder to conquer the Giraffe donkey.

I have flirted, flaunted myself, reversed into him, molested him but nothing - no reaction at all other than telling me to go and behave myself. When I stuck my donkey bits right in his face, he got very upset and ran off.....Oh for my gallic gallant Cazaux, these Scottish donkeys are a bit of a let down....I am much too young to stay at home and knit, I want to go clubbing!

Mum finds it very funny that a funky french filly cannot attract a dour Scottish donkey (now who else could that be we wonder....). She has offered to lend me some Chanel No 5 to see if that helps. Watch this space.

Spring Has Sprung

There is this mysterious green stuff shooting up everywhere - yippee it is spring grass.

All these tender young shoots of succulent grass are just emerging - I am really enjoying nipping off the top couple of inches - it tastes so sweet - I really like the reeds and some of the wild flowers are very tasty as well.

I am feeling much better. Mum says I am looking much stronger - a couple of days ago I had my first mad five minutes, I got down in the grass, had a roll, got up, bucked, kicked, galloped all over the place, braying and showing off. Mum stood and laughed at me. She says typical no camera just when you want it.

Aimee and Ferguson tried to keep up but with their short little legs they could not keep up with the Gazelle Donkey! I was so so fast - then it happened, oops down in a heap, tried to take a corner just a bit too zippy, legs went and down I went. Remember the scene from Bambi on the ice, well the Giraffe/Gazelle donkey went down just like that.

Oh how to get up and pretend it hadn't happened...dignified....nonchalant (notice my vocabulary I still remember my French).... the other two were sniggering like mad, couldn't keep a straight face. Oh well, must be more careful as mum says legs can snap and this is very bad news for donkeys.

A giraffe in a stable

Mum thought you would like this picture of me - it really shows my perfect ears and very kind expression - I like the light shining on me, kind of soulful. Since I came to Scotland, light has come into my life, my worries have gone away, I am a happy donkey who just chills out.

This is my stable which I share with the other two squirts who are not quite giraffe donkeys - I am at least 15 inches taller than the other two, without heels, and I could I suppose just jump over the little door that was installed so the two tiny tots could look out.

In the morning when I am waiting, patiently, for breakfast in bed, I can do a very very good giraffe and get most of my top half over the door.....particularly when the feed bucket comes near. No flies on the Vodka donkey.

I have A Tail

It may be only about 1/4 of an inch but there is definitely the first sproutings of a tail - it has a long way to go - and I wish it would hurry up and get going as we are now into the pesky midgy season when a tail would be useful - mum has threatened to buy me a hair extension as a temporary tail - now what colour do I want, burgundy, blonde - quite fancy something to bring out my golden brown highlights.

Watch this space, one day there will be a proper donkey tail.

Another Death In The Family

This is getting worrying - another one gone. This time it was a ginger hen - I didn't know her name (mum says she didn't have one as she, and 15 others like her, had come from a chicken concentration camp and all the hens looked very alike).

She got something called a prolapse - sounds nasty - and it couldn't be fixed, so the nice vet man who gave me an injection, gave her an injection which made her die - I am very relieved that he didn't get them mixed up, or I might be a Dead Vodka Donkey which would make updating my blog a bit difficult. Now that I know that injections can be good injections and bad injections I may be less willing to cooperate - mental note, develop needle phobia like Rosie cob and faint when you see one....

Mum says that hens like this little one don't tend to live very long, as they spend the first year or so of their lives laying eggs all the time, and they get very tired. Even if they get one of those special saved banners - these ones are much less expensive and only cost £0.50p per hen unlike the many many £s that are required for a special Vodka donkey - their little bodies are so worn out by the time they get their banner and are saved, they don't live for more than a year or two.

This is worrying as I intend to live much longer than that if you don't mind.

Mum says that if only people would pay more money for food, then little hens would have a better life, and wouldn't end up in these horrible cages where they can't move around and scratch and generally do the things that a little hen would like to do.

So farewell little hen - I am getting a bit worried, who is going to be number three.

I Meet The Jab Man

He came back again - I first met him four weeks ago when he inspected my still scrawny and skinny self and gave me this funny thing called an injection which is allegedly to keep me fit and well and stop my jaws locking together - never known this to happen so far but best to be safe.

Anyway this time round he wanted to give me another of those funny injection things - calls himself a vet - and almost didn't recognise me as I have got a lot bigger. Mum was saying that I was looking a bit fatter and rounder, but she says it is nice to have it confirmed by someone who doesn't see me that often.

I was declared to be a very large but fine donkey - what this means I'm not altogether sure but it's better than being written off as a runt. I just wish Cazaux could see what a fine filly I have turned into.