Woolly Jumpers - Betty Spencer

This is Betty Spencer, she is the flock leader and a very smart sheep.

She takes no nonsense from anyone and is a very calm and focussed herd leader who keeps the young ram raiders in line.

Five Ba Gate

Spencer, our black sheep of the family (who happens to be white) is in big trouble again.

He has continued to leap through the gate and try to eat the newly planted willow.....

Even when the fence is electrified, he managed to squeeze between the top bar and the second bar - very skillful.

Now today it was very very cold with snow and generally freezing - me I wanted to come in from the field early as it seemed daft to be out there in the snow, ankles numb, when I could be indoors, with a big haynet and warm and toasty.

Mum and dad spent ages, putting in another strand all along the electric fence, and then putting two more of these gate thingies on so it is now a five ba gate - we'll see if he gets through this.

Otherwise I can see the lamb chop and mint sauce option looming......

Ziggy Is Not Up To The Job

Our chief feline rodent office, Ziggy, the daft Burmese blue, has failed in his duties to protect the barn from rodent invasion. As you can see from the picture above, Ziggy may be in the wrong job.

His excuse is that he is understaffed, overworked, unpaid, never gets a day off, and the recruitment campaign to find him some helpers has failed miserably, as the two daft feral kittens have turned into stay at home don't go out lazy cats, and the one that is willing to come outdoors and patrol is daft as a brush and in terms of rodent control as useless as a chocolate teapot. He makes so much noise announcing he is there, that the mice have plenty of time to leave home and find a safe place out of the way of a feline inspection.

Sam the black and white Felix cat is exactly like the one on TV, daft, google eyes, full of fun, not a brain cell to rattle. Fudge, his brother, is Horatio from CSI Miami, so laid back he is horizontal. Fudge's idea of a heavy day is posing in a sunbeam, with our without his sunglasses. Bunny, the other black and white one, is dangerous outside - climbing up trees, falling out of trees (trip to vet Bank Holiday Monday) - falling in ponds (discovering that despite belief cats do not walk on water...). She is best to stay inside as it keeps the vet bills down though lying on the hob is not the best idea - fortunately it has a child lock on it and Bunny so far hasn't worked out how to remove it. Lying on top of the Aga only works for a while then there is a distinct singeing of Bunny fluff. She and Sam have a lot in common in the Mensa department.

The latest rodent control failure happened yesterday - Mum had to move the lawnmower when our hay was delivered, under the lawnmower she found a nest of mice. Tiny baby mice, eyes not even open yet. Being a softy, she put them in a safe place in the hope their mum would come back for them. But as she says, when you employ a team of rodent control professionals, and give them board and lodging, you expect results.

Ziggy's explanation is that of course being a mere cat, he is not expected to tunnel through concrete under the mower in order to unearth a nest of mice. While he has a point about that, the mice have got so complacent that they are even committing suicide by jumping into water buckets and drowning themselves. Mum says she really does not appreciate seeing this first thing in the morning.

Maybe a job for Spencer.

Ziggy would like to post some pictures of his co-workers so that you can evaluate their suitability as serious rodent control operatives.

We Are Invaded By Aliens

They arrived stealthily and without warning.

There was a lot of bleating and then suddenly we saw their weapons - sharp horns......Ouchy ouchy ouchy.

A large ram, his 4 wives and six little baby goats came to squat in our paddock. They had evidently decided they didn't like living where they were and had gone searching for pastures new and found our field!

I was very very curious about them, wanting to get close to them but there was a fence in the way so all I could do was watch them skipping around and bleating and posing on the top of rocks. Very cute.

Eventually their owner showed up and took them away - mum was sad as I think she secretly fancied adding them to the flock. The little babies looked very wooly and cuddly - ok not as cute as the Vodka donkey but sweet nevertheless.

Maybe they will be back....

Vodka Sweeps Floor

Mum is always complaining about the state I get myself in. With my lovely luxurious long coat, I can do a fair impression of a yard brush.....every night, being a tired donkey who has come in after a long arduous day out in the field, eating grass, running around, bracing myself against the nasty snowflakes and biting wind, I get down and dirty.

Literally. Every morning there I am covered in shavings and worse. Sometimes I lie down in things that even I am not particularly keen on. Mum says I am a bit ripe at times with a sort of yellow tinge.....All this of course due to the lack of accommodation - I have suggested before that we need a mezzanine for Ferguson and Aimee so that I can have the entire downstairs.

Here is a picture of before, and after I have been groomed.....

Spencer the Showjumping Lamb

Those sheep. I am sick of them.

There is one of them, Spencer, who is a Leicester Blue Cross - why he is cross I have no idea as I am the one who is cross.

He doesn't think he is a sheep. Not sure what he thinks he is but it entails following us about, sneaking in from the field, coming into my stable. He was in there tonight, mum was taking our coats off - we had snow today - and there he was, bleating away about something or other and try to reach my manger - fortunately it is Vodka donkey height so too high for a stupid sheep. Wherever you turn, there he is, Ram Raiding the feed bins, generally being a nuisance.

Mum and Dad have spent a lot of time landscaping around our field so that it is nice for me when I walk past. In time there will be nice willow hedges - protect me from the wind - and there are lots of nice rowan trees, birch trees, all sorts of things to make our field area look nice and posh. I have advised on the planting of course and it looks pretty good to me.

Of course the downside of that is that we are not supposed to eat any of the things that have been planted. I find this a bit tiresome, as for example a nice bit of beech hedge - you can't beat it for flavour. Trust me I know. Green or copper beech, this is a firm favourite with donkeys.

To protect the planted areas, there is a triple strand electric fence - so donkey proof sadly unless you are wearing a full armour rug and are very careful with the nose and head - and the gateway has 4 springy coil things that pull across and give you a zap if you get too close - mum is always zapping herself I think she gets more benefit from the electric fence than the rest of us put together.

Now getting back to this Spencer fellow. He is a wooly jumper and wooly jumpers have a very thick fleece that pretty much insulates them from being zapped. It only really works on him if he is daft enough to touch it with his nose. Betty, one of the other sheep, did that and she did a lot of bucking and kicking afterwards!

Anyway, he jumps THROUGH the strands - mum saw him jump about 2'6 and in between the top two coils of wire - pretty zippy I think. She is contemplating a new career for him at local shows as a showjumper.

He was also caught wandering about with a large bit of willow in his chops - now chops is something that could be produced if he continues to be a naughty boy. Mum is still smarting from the fact that when he had to have his bits off, they could only find one, so he had to go to a proper hospital and have major surgery to find the other one....she is not impressed by the idea that she may have to pay a lot of money to Spencer proof the fencing, given how much she has already spent on electric fencing it....People kept suggesting that he would be good in the freezer - don't understand that myself unless it's where they keep the pina colada and things like that.

Spencer, if I were you, I would give up ideas of Hickstead or Olympia and go back to being a sheep. Mum says you are on very very last warnings...

Vodka Has A Nasty Accident

I was so close to being petfood again!

I was in my stable, having my dinner, and I still don't know how I did it, but I managed to get my front leg through one of the holes in the haynet. The haynet was quite high off the ground, and the net went all round my ankle.

Problem was, I couldn't then put my foot back on the ground or get it free so I had to stand like that, trussed up, with my front leg bent back under itself, until I was rescued at breakfast time.

Mum was very upset - she said that it was a good job I am a sensible donkey and just stood still until I could be released, as if I had panicked, and thrown myself around to try to get free, I could have fallen over, or broken my leg. She says that they can't mend broken donkey legs as they can with humans, and that a nice vet would have had to come out and finish me off.

Didn't fancy that at all - bad enough escaping being made into salami but to top yourself? Bit careless I think.

I will have to be more careful. I am a famous donkey these days and it is important that I look after myself.....