Vote for Vodka Donkey - Horse & Pony Charity Donkey of the Year Poll

Well I knew it would finally happen, my qualities would be recognised by all and sundry - mum tells me I have been nominated for the Charity Donkey of the Year and voting is live as we speak.

The only downside is that one certain short legged spotted scottish stumpy has also been nominated for her fundraising efforts. Now I know folks are discerning so why scrape the bottom of the barrel and include her highness, the Aimee....I mean I know I have to share a stable with her but class will out...

The atmosphere in the stable is at fever pitch, particularly as I am in the lead with 18% of the vote. Now I ask you, the other 82% of you, what did you do wrong? Did you hit the wrong key and place your vote for the wrong donkey, or because I am at the bottom of the ballot, you got tired of reading and voted for someone else - Aimee is first, so maybe that argument doesn't work, as she has only 5%....hee haw...hee haw....

She had a right lip on tonight, very grumpy, muttering. Ferguson was keeping his head down, staying well out of it. Jennies, he says, who'd have them.

I can see it already, my own publicist, stylist, manicurist (no common farriers for me in future, I want to go to a nail bar). Mum says something about counting chickens and hatching....don't get this as we have chickens here and eggs are hatched so what's wrong with that.

I suppose I'd better let you see some of the opposition.....

But if you want to vote for me, here is the link

The link to vote is:

http://www.horseandpony.com/cgi-bin/view_polls.pl

Go on there and get voting!

I Break My Promise

I did say when I was finally liberated from the dark, cold, miserable field, that I would be good.

Well next morning, when breakfast came, I reverted to my old trick of I will eat everyone's breakfast. The shock of having to live out (all the bad memories of France and being cold and hungry) clearly traumatised me again, so that when I tried to eat Aimee's breakfast, and she objected, I turned round and booted her...Double barrelled her.

Neither she, nor mum, were terribly pleased with me.

Mum said I was a nasty ungrateful donkey. Oh I am ashamed...I knew I shouldn't do it...

Vodka is Abandoned

They did it, they left us.

They had to go away for the weekend. Now we are used to coming in at night for cocktails, dinner, a wee dram then bed, get our jim jams on and down we go for a bit of shut eye. None of this roughing it in a field.

We got suspicious, instead of going into the big field, we were herded into the little one with the field shelter. But we came in at night, lulled into thinking it would be ok. In some ways it was, there is lots of nice new grass there as it has been rested all winter and there was all this lovely tender green stuff just perfect for a Vodka donkey.

Next day, we went in there joyfully, thinking fine, no worries. BUT they left us there, no dinner, no room service, just the field shelter to cower in the cold....I ran up and down the field, yelling at them as I could see them there, watching tv, having a glass of wine. I shouted and shouted but no I was IGNORED.....went to bed hurt. I also managed to make sure that I had most of the field shelter and the Scottish stumpies got very very little of it. We spent a mournful night nursing our wrath to keep it warm....

Next morning, no breakfast again. As it was sunny and midgy they took off my outdoor rug and put on my fly rug, then gave me a hug and left me.

FOR THREE DAYS! They went on Saturday and didn't get back till Monday night.

When I saw the car, I screamed at mum, braying with all my heart, let me in....please....I'll be good. Finally, back in my stable, my dinner, my nightie, oh it felt good.

Parking Ecosse Hang Your Heads in Shame

Aimee got a ticket. Yes our little fundraising friend, Aimee, bless her cotton socks, was out on her fundraising to help other equines in need, this time visiting Kilmarnock.

Her Aimee mobile was parked in a car park owned by Parking Ecosse - they don't have any signs up saying no trailers, and the ground isn't marked into bays, but when Aimee came trudging wearily home, there was a ticket on the windscreen!

Mum was not pleased - you don't want to see not pleased, I tell you, it's scary. She can do grumpy old woman perfectly. Jobsworth parking person comes over and starts saying that we took up 4 spaces and had only paid for 1.....well I know that Aimee has a smart trailer, but it isn't that big....After a lot of shouting and gesticulating, mum paid for a second spot and he 'removed' the ticket. Aimee, being a very very smart girl, showed her displeasure by lifting her tail.

Jobsworth tells mum to pick it up - she says there isn't a sign about poo picking and anyone for donkeys you don't have to poo pick, unlike dogs. Normally she does when Aimee is out and about, she carries plastic bags, rubber gloves, brush, water, and usually really cleans up, but on this occasion she was extremely inclined to leave it as a mark of respect. In the end she did pick it up - jobsworth has no idea how close he was to having a very close encounter with Aimee poo... she would have you know.

So Parking Ecosse, you are a very community spirited company who penalises poor charity workers, by not making your terms and conditions explicitly clear...and not having someone on site all the time to point out what you expect motorists to do!

Aimee will be back later this year.....watch where you walk....