Vodka Donkey

Horses Recently Saved - Mamie

2011-04-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

A toast rack - how can anyone let an old horse get into this state and send it into the food chain?

Fortunately again some kind people clubbed together to end her distress and give her a chance of a happy retirement.

Horses Recently Saved - Ecumes

2011-04-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

A very very old lady, why on earth did no one love her enough not to send her for slaughter? Fortunately, someone kind bought her and will let her spend her last years in peace.

Horses Saved Recently - Delta

2011-04-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

Delta had the dreadful bad luck to not only be going for slaughter but also to get injured on the lorry, with a dreadful cut to his leg - naturally since he was going for meat, he was given no veterinary treatment, as the pain relief and drugs would make him unfit for human consumption, so he just had to suffer. A lot of people were touched by his distress and his injury, that he was purchased and put in a foster home in France, where he could be attended to properly. Once he is fit and well he will be rehomed.

He is only a baby and in dreadful condition. The outdoor pictures show him in his foster home, relaxing and recovering, the indoor ones, where he is crammed in with the shetland ponies, are at the fattening farm where he was left with his injury untreated.

Horses Saved Recently - Italiano

2011-04-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

This little lad was very wild, very unhandled, and not going anywhere nice. Fortunately via the des chevaux et des ailes forum, he was found a home in France, where he has settled in very well.

Been Absent as Been Busy

2011-04-15T10:26:00.001-07:00

With the closure of the old Equine-Section rescue site in February 2011, it was decided to try to keep equine welfare and rescue going as far as possible, so a new forum was created

www.equine-section.proboards.com

This covers a lot of UK and overseas horse welfare issues, and we have featured some UK and overseas horses at risk, sadly so far we have not been able to find a way to publicise UK slaughter horses before they go - most of them go direct from dealers, or via auctions. There isn't the openness in the UK about raising horses for meat, like there is in France, it is all very secrative, and we have been unable to find anyone willing to let us publicise the horses, just in case homes can be found for them.

We have featured a lot of sources for where to find project horses, for anyone who is interested in taking on a horse that needs help.

As a result, Vodka's tales have been a bit neglected while all the information is uploaded.

Sasa's History

2011-04-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

We have managed to find out a little about the lady - she has been a brood mare, according to the French stud book, but not a very successful one.

Sadly, her mother, Etoile, was not registered, so we have no history on the dam's side, but on the sire's side, it is pure comtois all the way.

Etoile had foals year after year, nearly all girls, only one colt. And Sasa is not Sasa - her real name is Nilka. We tried it on her, but she didn't seem to recognise it either!

Burco Boilers and Mr T

2011-01-31T16:17:00.000-08:00

Mr Tin Tin has not quite acquired the skills of how to manage his stable.

It's quite easy really, you designed your living areas, a toilet, a bedroom, you don't turn the whole place into a pit. But he does.

Then he goes to sleep in it, and comes up smelly, disgusting, manky. Not the sort of donkey that Vodka would want to be close to.

So Operation Clean Up Mr T. A burco boiler, heat the water, lots of it, to bed bath Mr T. So that he can be shampooed and rinsed but all in warm water. Mr T is chilled enough without cold water hosing... No way Mr T.

First try, half a boiler full is enough to do a pretty good shampoo and rinse and blow dry as an option - hand towelling currently but maybe he will brave the hot air!

A nicely fragrant donkey again!

Ordeal In Darkness

2011-01-31T16:09:00.000-08:00

The horse and donkey team were left for the day. Chilled out. Nothing unusual.

Time to come in. Hours passed. No one came. 11pm.....at night! In the dark. Still no one came.

Finally, headlights. They are back.

A crescendo of noise from the field. Vodka, Tintin, Aimee and Ferguson a desperate chorus braying, where is dinner, we are cold, it is dark, where the fidgets have you been?

Well actually we have been in a broken down car, waiting for the RAC, fretting, knowing that you were out there in the dark, cold, hungry, but nothing we could do except wait.

Finally, they are all indoors, rugs on, apologies made.

There will be retribution. Donkeys never ever Forgive or Forget being left out like this. Watch this space.

Sasha Settles In

2011-01-23T09:01:00.000-08:00

Sasha, the comtois mare, is finding her feet. Sadly she is still very sore and lame, as a result of her feet not being trimmed for a very long time, so she feels the stones and hard ground. On soft ground, she is sound and confident, but she is very pottery on the sort of ground conditions we have been having.

She is a very gentle sweet mare, who is supposed to have been ridden and driven but shows no aptitude for either, in that she clearly has not been taught anything much in her life. Basic commands and skills baffle her, but she waits patiently in the hope that you can explain what is required. She has now just about managed to learn how to lift her feet and have them cleaned - as she is a very heavy girl, trying to lift a foot when she has all her weight on it is backbreaking! She struggles to work out what she is supposed to do.

So far, she has not done anything nasty or unpleasant and seems very content and happy. She and Leo are firm friends as the pictures show.

Smokey is Gone

2011-01-23T08:54:00.000-08:00

In February 2010 we travelled south to pick up an elderly british blue cat. We had just lost Saffy, our magnificent old british blue, and wanted another one, on arrival the cat was clearly not a british blue, just a very ancient grey moggy. Of course she came home with us nevertheless.

She was probably when we got her already in renal failure, but she perked up and had a nice few months, gaining weight and generally being a very happy girl. August time she stopped eating and blood tests revealed her kidneys were shot. However, on medication and injections, she rallied and had another six months of quality time, until sadly her kidneys got worse and she had to be pts.

A wonderful feisty old lady who is much missed.

Leo's New Mummy

2010-12-26T05:28:00.001-08:00

Leo is completely convinced that Sasha is his long lost mummy. They are like two peas in a pod!

Tintin's First Christmas

2010-12-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

This was Tintin's first Christmas in safety, following his rescue from the meat trade. If he were a cat, he would have used up several of his nine lives by now, as not only was he saved because another horse died in his place, he was sent back as he lacked a piece of paper, and we thought all was lost. Finally he made it to freedom and is safe for life.

A huge gorgeous donkey, as time has gone on, he has revealed his demons. He is terrified of a brush - no doubt been bashed with one, and even a grooming brush at first scared him to death. Even a hoof pick was an instrument of tortune.

On another occasion, he had come in at night and we had a lorry come to deliver some goods - the sound of the lorry outside scared him so much he tried to climb out of the stable - he clearly had been herded into a vehicle at night, and he was sure they had come to take him away again.

If only they could talk and tell us what has happened to them.

His love affair, with Vodka donkey, continues, they totally adore each other.

Sasha's New House

2010-12-26T05:19:00.000-08:00

After a lot of work, she has finally managed to move to an indoor stable - needs painting but at least she is in out of the weather.

Sasha's new feet

2010-12-26T05:18:00.001-08:00

Having arrived with the most awful feet, they are a bit better after a trim!

Sasha Gets Settled

2010-12-13T10:49:00.001-08:00

Our little comtois mare, bought sight unseen, is settling in, so far so good.

Her little tootsies are dreadfully long and painful, waiting for farrier to attend, but she seems to have a sweet gentle nature and is enjoying being coddled a bit.

Here she is.

RIP Jenny

2010-12-13T10:42:00.000-08:00

Little Jenny, a 40 year old donkey, joined our little gang just over two months ago.

Last week, she got cast in the stable and had to be assisted by the fire brigade. Whatever the cause, from then on she refused to eat, despite being tempted by anything possible. We gave the medication a chance to kick in, but as she was getting weaker, a decision was made that the following morning if there was no improvement, that would be the end.

She died overnight and was found the next morning, all very sad.

Goodbye Jenny, a very gentle feisty independent little donkey. We only had you a very little bit of your long life, but we miss you.

It's Springtime Blossom

2010-11-27T03:09:00.000-08:00

Blossom, the comtois mare, arrived this week. A rather scruffy, scared, little lady who had come over from Holland, braved the snow and is now resting and settling in.

Hopefully she will be a nice hack and family horse. But she'll be given time to get her bearings before any attempt to ride her etc.

The Terrors of Tintin

2010-11-09T15:20:00.001-08:00

Just when we thought the big lad was settled and happy a simple thing that shows how fragile he is.

Everyone had come in for dinner and were in their stables, ready for lights off and shut eye.

But we had a delivery arrive - lorry outside barn, revving up. No one batted an eye, but Tintin was completely terrified, cantering in the stable, trying to barge out the door, get over it, total panic. Very liquid poo everywhere as he was just utterly terrified. Just wanted to escape, however he could.

Clearly thought they had come for him and he was going back on the lorry to the hell hole he came frame. He was totally deranged, just desperate to get away. So so heart breaking to see our handsome, gentle, friendly lad reduced to a quivering wreck. Evidently been in a barn at night, lorry comes, herded on, probably roughly.

None of the others were remotely worried, just the big lad.

He was shaking with fright. Took a lot of cuddles and reassurance for him to calm down and realise he was safe.

Why oh why. What on earth has he seen or been through before he came to us? I can guess, I just don't want to know.

L'equipe bleu

2010-11-09T15:15:00.001-08:00

It's the blue rug team - all sporting their latest fashion accessories

Molly cob in royal blue
Tintin the brave in tartan
Leo the lionheart in navy blue

How many can you fit in? Answers on a postcard to....

2010-10-21T05:06:00.000-07:00

We need another field shelter, it is just getting too crowded!

Rosie On the Mend

2010-10-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

The old trout is now allowed out a bit - she is still a bit skinny but her liver problems seem to be improving, so hopefully she is off death row.

It's Goodbye to the Girls

2010-10-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

Little Fern, Mimi and Sabrina's summer holiday ended today and they have gone home to their charity owners for the winter - they all loaded very well, apart from Sabrina leaving mum with a lasting tatoo on her foot by stamping on it and making a wonderful hoof print on her tootsie.

Leo, their friend, is staying put, and was very brave, standing in the field waving goodbye - actually he was too busy playing with Mr Tintin to notice.

We will miss them all - they waddled into the horse box as they have done very well over the summer - Fern looks as if she is carrying twins! Talk about a grass belly....

Red Letter Day for Rosie

2010-10-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

She has finally been allowed out on a bit of grazing for the first time in more than 2 months. We had no idea what caused her liver problems, so she has been boxed rested and kept off the pasture as it may be something she has eaten there.

She then was allowed out on the yard but with a bucket muzzle on, so she couldn't munch anything. She is being fed lots of little meals, every two hours, but today she got to graze all day, she was so happy. She is still not out of the woods health wise but at least she is getting to have a bit more of a life, as she has been really restricted and very down.

Trailer Training

2010-10-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

Tintin is off for a dental so we had to find out if he would load - tonight was the night and the big lamb sauntered into the trailer without hesitation. So proud of him as doubt he has ever been in one, but he followed up the ramp without a worry. It was particularly impressive as he was on his way in from the field for his dinner and detoured to walk through the trailer. Very obliging donkey.

We then thought we would see if Leo fancied exploring it, and with the aid of his bucket, he walked in, ate a bit, had a panic and shot down the front ramp. So we will have to do a bit of work on that, but he was so brave to have a go, as he has never been in a trailer. Again very proud of him to be so trusting.

Holby City Horse Style

2010-10-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

September and October have been the month for keep the vets busy and in the money.

Rosie cob first of all has been attempting to die of liver failure since July - she has been to hospital at great expense for a liver biopsy - which showed that she was a very ill girl indeed. She was so scared at the hospital - all these glossy expensive horses, all neatly turned out, and a hot sweating cob who was in a tizz and worried about it all. She was so glad to be home and running on empty that she managed to fall and split her cheek open the day she got back. Fortunately her second test results are a bit better, so while her prognosis is that dreadful word - guarded - we are hoping that she will at least recover enough to potter about.

Molly cob, already on a permanent sick note, clearly gave Rosie instructions on how to get ill and no longer able to be ridden.....

Tintin, the amazingly large donkey has had a swollen gullet and neck, so he has been tubed to see if there was any obstruction, and now is on tablets to see if it will go away. He was a very brave boy to have a stomach tube put in without being sedated.

Aimee has also decided to get in on the act by being lame - she is being poulticed twice daily.....

Naturally none of this comes cheap - no xmas presents this year.

Vodka and Aimee Shelter In Their New Rugs

2010-09-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

The two donkey girls were shy and hid in the field shelter. It's amazing how many donkeys can fit in a small field shelter - four!

Leo a Picture in Pink

2010-09-29T12:52:00.001-07:00

His first day wearing his rug, which is now suitably coated in mud!

Tintin Shows Off His New Wardrobe

2010-09-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

The elegant donkey about town, Tintin has been equipped for the winter.

Here he is in a matching brown ensemble.

Tintin in Camoflage

2010-09-28T11:59:00.001-07:00

There really are some daft pictures of donkeys which should remain private....Tintin looking very foolish and even Vodka has to join in with her silly midge fighting outfit.

Leo in Training

2010-09-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

As part of his training, Leo has to get used to all sorts of odd things - here he is meeting a fly mask for the first time! He isn't that worried by things, it is more people.

Considering how hard it was to get a head collar on him at first, he has made huge progress. He can now wear a rug without any problems and when he managed to cut his leg, he had an iodine spray whooshed at the poor wounded paw. He is now beginning to live up to his name of Leo the Lionheart.

Leo Relaxes

2010-09-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

After a lot of handling, Leo was allowed back out into the field. He now leads to the field and back every day, and is usually fine to catch. He still has his days of worrying about things but generally he doesn't panic much now, and even when he does, he will work out how to get over it.

This is an enormous improvement on the terrified little lad whose only response to everything was to high tail it as far away as possible.

Leo Poses as Roger Daltry

2010-09-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

Once Leo decided that while in the past people had fully intended to kill him, there was no longer clear and imminent danger, and he began to make friends with us.

One of our first tasks was to tackle his magnificent mane which is truly spectacular.

At this point he was still not trustworthy enough to be allowed out, but he was becoming more trusting, allowing a head collar to be put on without it taking half a day, and enjoying being groomed and having his feet picked up.

Ferguson Babysits Leo

2010-09-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

We finally have Leo in captivity and you can see what a lovely pony he has turned into. At this stage, it could still take half an hour to catch him in the stable, hard to believe but that's how it was, he would just go around in circles in a panic.

Fortunately he is the kindest pony in the world and utterly without malice and when when scared, he would never lift a hoof to hurt you. You might be squished against a wall but nothing worse than that!

As he couldn't be left in the barn alone, Ferguson donkey was often left as his warden.

The look on Ferguson's face says exactly what he thought of it all.

And Then There Was The Cowardly Lion

2010-09-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Leo's mum, Lexie, is a very self confident young lady, and has clearly been a riding pony, perfect for children. Quite why she ended up being sent for slaughter, with her foal, Leo, is a mystery as she has now resumed her career as a kid's pony and is completely reliable and trustworthy.

Leo arrived scared of his own shadow, he had clearly hidden behind mum who protected him aggressively and sheltered him from everything, and he was just terrified of everything.

We made the major mistake of turning him out, in a big field, with his friends, Sabrina Fern and Mimi. Two months later, we were still trying to catch him!

So operation recapture Leo began - first of all, we removed Fern and Mimi from the field, leaving him with Sabrina. Sabrina, who is happy to be caught, and led around, then was brought down to the stables, and put in a very small paddock. Fortunately, rather than be left alone, Leo followed her. We then reunited her with her friends and Leo was on his own.

Eventually we managed to get him from the paddock, onto the yard, and then finally into the barn, where he was well and truly kept in custody till we could do a lot of handling with him.

This is him in the small paddock, with a nose covered in treacle as he had discovered the joys of horselix.

Fern, Mimi and Sabrina

2010-09-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

This is the foals shortly after arrival in the spring - Sabrina the dark one looks particularly babyish. They have all grown quite a bit and filled out and look much more mature now, at the end of the summer.

Fern Another One of the Foals

2010-09-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

Fern is shaping into a nice little pony, she isn't going to be huge but she is a very pretty chestnut, with white spots on her chest, and is very friendly. This picture of her was taken as she was waiting for the farrier to trim her for the first time.

Mum and daughter, Sabrina and Nakosa

2010-09-28T11:01:00.000-07:00

Sabrina, one of our equine b&b visitors is in the top picture, with the following one being her mum, Nakosa. Nakosa doesn't have a lot of time for people, as they haven't been very nice to her over the years.

She has passed some of this fighting spirit to her daughter, who is feisty, but at the same time is very reliable if she understands what you want. While it may be too late for her mum to be anything other than a field ornament, her daughter is a lovely filly and when she grows up will be an excellent prospect for rehoming as a riding horse.

More visitors for their summer holiday

2010-09-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

Here are Mimi and Fern - another two of the French foals. They are quite small, taking after their mums, but very sturdy little ponies with lovely temperaments.

They were a bit shy hiding beneath their sun visors.

We have visitors for summer holiday

2010-09-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

Vodka has been joined, for the summer, by four friends from France. We don't know if they all knew each other, but they were all rescued in the same year, and it's quite possible they came from the same farm.

The four youngsters came to the UK with their mums - as foals at foot, tiny little foals destined for the meat trade. They were now sturdy little adolescents, full of fun and very friendly.

The dark bay filly is Sabrina, the teenage witch, she is a spirited little lady but very smart and learns fast. She will be a great riding pony, as she has a brain.

With her is Leo, a comtois cross, he is very shy, a very timid lion. More about him later.

Tintin Settles In

2010-09-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

Tintin was very thin when he arrived - and of course despite having rugs for three donkeys, none of them fitted such a large gallic donkey.

He has now a burberry influenced wardrobe.... and it's amazing how many donkeys can squeeze into a field shelter.

Vodka Returns To Her Blog

2010-09-28T10:27:00.001-07:00

After a long absence, Vodka donkey has found space in her busy social diary to write to her admirers.

She is now very much in love - her arranged marriage with Tintin, a rakish lanky French donkey who came into her life in March 2010 has been a great success and she is besotted.

Tintin is being the archtypal french Flaneur and will walk out with any donkey or horse who is lonely - there is occasionally a bit of the emerald eye from Vodka, who is intensely jealous.

You can see why she loves him. He was a bit scruffy on arrival....

Donkey and Horse Meat Served in Edinburgh - I feel Sick

2010-03-26T03:13:00.000-07:00

Vodka donkey has asked me to post this article on her blog. She and her French boyfriend, Tin Tin, are so appalled at the thought of their friends being served up in Edinburgh they couldn't eat their breakfast this morning. Vodka was in tears, and is worried that even though she escaped from France, she may no longer be safe in Scotland. We have assured her that there is no way she is ever going to end up as a saucisson.

Vodka would like to firmly point out that many of the horses ponies and donkeys who are going to be eaten are ex pets - not farmed animals. She herself was farmed, she thinks, but she isn't really as she was such a young donkey at the time and was so bewildered and lost she almost had a donkey breakdown. She is now fully recovered.

On the other hand, Tin Tin says he had a home once, and even has a full French Passport, registered with the Haras National - Tin Tin is there in full colour. He clearly has had a family who loved him in the past -and he doesn't know why he ended up on a French fattening farm going to the meat trade. We will never know. If only those sad brown eyes could tell you the whole story, all we can do is make him happy and tell him that he will never, ever, be in danger again.

He also would like to point out that he met several New Forest ponies there, and there was a cute little shetland pony girl, who had given her life to children as a pony club go faster pony - and yet, aged 15, she was sent for slaughter. She couldn't understand it either. He also spoke to a lot of ex racehorses who also wondered why they were there - they had run as fast as they could and done their best but clearly the nearest they were going to get to St Cloud was on a plate.....

This is what Vodka and Tin Tin are so upset about:

"A French restaurant in Edinburgh is the first in the country to offer diners "saucisson de cheval", or horse meat - and it is selling faster than a thoroughbred. Skip related content
Related photos / videos Enlarge photo L'escargot Bleu offers diners a range of delicacies more familiar to continental foodies such as pig trotters, tripe sausages and pig's head pate.

It started serving donkey meat three months ago and it proved so popular, the restaurant stepped up a gear and put horse meat on the menu.

It is served either as a cooked steak with peppercorn sauce or as a steak tartare - raw, with an egg yolk, mustard, gherkins, shallots, parsley and olive oil.

Restaurant owner Frederique Berkmiller, from Tours in France, told Sky News he was serving horse because the public was ready for it.

"Food has changed very quickly in the last 10 years," he said.

"We eat horse meat in France and so do a lot of British people when they're over there.

"It's very lean, very tender and anyone who likes red meat would love it."

The public clearly has an appetite for the dish.

When Sky News contacted the restaurant, they had sold out and were eagerly awaiting their next delivery from Paris.

There are some animal charities however that have a beef with the notion of eating horse meat.

Ross Minett, from Advocates for Animals, told Sky News he did not think the dish would be popular because culturally, Britons do not eat horses.

"Our close relationship with horses, as with other animals such as cats and dogs, has shown us how intelligent and sentient these creatures are," he said.

"They have thoughts and feelings. As a result we don't want to eat them.

"We see horses as our pets and companions rather than a potential meal."

But back at the restaurant, they beg to differ.

"A lot of people are misinformed. When people think of horse meat, they think of the pony in the garden," Mr Berkmiller said.

"The fact is that in France and in the UK, there are horses bred for meat. I don't see the difference between a horse and a cow."

Tin Tin, Last One Out

2010-03-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

The shocking news reached Vodka and Tin Tin today, their old home, the meat farm, has closed and all the horses ponies donkeys foals, young and old, have been 'liquidated' 'culled'. Gone. Dead.

Tin Tin was on the last transport out in February 2010 - he and two donkey jennies and their babies, and two other boy donkeys, were the final survivors - the rest are gone. Perfectly nice horses who could have had a life are dead, many of them just 15-18 months old, having never been trained or given a chance.

Tin Tin is in a state of shock - the news that he so narrowly missed selection for the death march crushed even his exuberant nature. He was lucky to have been issued with a set of wirecutters and a map to the channel ports, and this brave donkey with his companions charted a course to safety. Tin Tin's sad brown eyes are fringed with tears as he takes stock of just how slimly he missed going to his death with the others - a mere quirk of fate and he has a happy future ahead of him, with his new girlfriend Vodka donkey.

We are all in mourning for the poor lost souls

Charlou, andalucian stallion
Foniale and her foal
Lav Un and her foal
Konkora and her foal
Espoir Un and her foal - so badly misnamed, no Hope for this little lady
The foals from 2008 - all ages 15-18 months, all gone - we watched their pictures as they grew up into stunning young horses, for what purpose.

Hopefully their suffering is now over and they can gallop free forever.

Entente Cordiale

2010-02-14T01:37:00.001-08:00

Well, I am beginning to melt. This new man, the Tin Tin, is very much a new man type donkey, very considerate, opens gates for me, let's me eat his dinner, compliments me all the time on how nice I look in my green rug and how much he is looking forward to seeing me in my red one - after all it is Valentine's Day.

I am hopefull that I may be whisked away for a dinner a deux, with pink champagne and all belgian chocolates - ok i know this is not part of the nutritional requirements of a donkey in the wild but then I am a sophisticated mademoiselle donkey and I have acquired these upmarket tastes.

Mum says that I should be careful about stepping out with gallic newcomers particularly if they offer to take me away - have I forgotten all the dreadful things that can happen to a donkey if it goes in the wrong horsebox?

It all comes rushing back - I'm not going anywhere.

I will put him to the test, he can cook the dinner at home for us and then we'll see.

I am waiting for Interflora to arrive with the roses and maybe our feed company to arrive with a special order, all gift wrapped for me......

Love is in the air.

Vodka Has a Touch of the Green Eye

2010-02-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

Ok I admit it, I am jealous.

I have been the Princess here for two years now, and sorry but there is competition now from this great french nana they say is to be my new best friend.

Well at least Paris Hilton got a choice of new best friends and had the final say. Me, I am just supposed to bond with whoever is offered and make the best of it.

So I have dug my beautifully manicured hooves in and said NON!

I have pulled my elegant donkey ears back as far as they will go and glowered at him. I have even charged at him and told him to go back to France....He just stands there, doe eyed, and then I feel mean, well just a bit, not too much. Not enough that I am going to back down.

I will not share my hay with him never mind sweet nothings. It is all too too terrible for words.

I may have to leave home.

Vodka's Arranged Marriage

2010-02-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

Mum has been muttering about getting me a boyfriend. It's been going on a while, mainly along the lines of you are so young compared to the other two donkeys and we would never want you to be alone.

So what turns up - a huge French donkey name of Tin Tin....ok so he has a nice french accent and we can discuss croissants and cafe au lait, but

It's a big but. He towers over me. Mum said she got a bit of a shock when the ramp went down and this enormous head looked out hopefully....even the headcollar she had bought him in anticipation of his arrival is a tad neat.

And none of the rugs we have here fit him. Nor does his stable - there is going to be a lot of shifting around to make room for this mammoth.

Now while I appreciate her concern about me being a single lady, at the very least I think I should have been consulted. Maybe we could have reviewed candidates on the plasma screen in my stable and I could have been penpals for a while and then made up my mind,but no, here he is take it or leave it.....

I may well leave it, I am as the Empress of India said, not amused.

Spencer Is Adorable

2010-01-29T10:18:00.000-08:00

I know these sheep that I have to live with are as dim as anything - well Spencer is at least.

Betty is bright, Mark is pretty switched on, Frank is noisy and bleats in a deep baratone, Noona and Sonix sort of don't communicate with me very much, but Spencer doesn't think he is a sheep and is always trying to get into our stables and mum says he probably wants to come into the house.

This is him looking at his most appealing. Mum says that many folks would consider he would be more appealing with mint sauce, but then I am prejudiced, I prefer him just as he is.

Rosie is getting better

2010-01-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

It has been a long haul but the old trout's leg is looking much better.

She really did hurt herself badly on New Year's eve - so I can almost forgive her for spoiling my party and planned entertainment. I hope the pipe band got another gig when I had to suddenly cancel.

She is still on walkway rest which means she can't come out into the field, but is confined to a small bit of path, so she can't run around and open up the wound.

If you are squeamish look away now. For a horse that almost faints at the sight of a needle, she has been very brave, having her sore bits bathed and bandaged every day.

Yet Again, Vodka Donkey is in disgrace

2010-01-29T09:57:00.000-08:00

I am lucky I got my dinner tonight, mum says if she had known what a stupid, unthinking donkey I was going to be today, she would not have filled my manger this morning.

I was already on the naughty step as it was. Some of you may know my fetish for undressing other donkeys robbing them of their nice warm rugs. Mainly my target has been little Ferguson, who is very long suffering and doesn't complain very much when I tug his rugs over his head, blinding and trussing him in the process. He even puts up with me jumping on him (despite me being twice as big as him) and is very very tolerant.

Till now, Aimee has avoided my attentions as she turns around and boots me if I get a bit too exuberant and boisterous.

However, yesterday, mum found Aimee trussed and bound in the field - with her rug pulled up over her head, so she couldn't see. And over her front, so she couldn't walk. I know it's a bit late for Xmas but she was a bit like a trussed turkey.

Without the benefit of a jury trial, I was convicted of this henious crime on the basis of my previous bad character and previous form, which is very unfair, as I believe that I am innocent until proven guilty. This seems to be an infringement of my donkey rights, and I will be in touch with the appropriate lawyer in the morning. Mum says get used to it, there is no such thing as justice these days.

Today though I got into even more trouble so much so that mum has said that transportation back to the fat farm may be an option. This is the ultimate special rendition and there is no way I am going back on that lorry and heading off to Italy.

She doesn't know how I did it, and to be honest I'm a bit vague on the sequence of events that led to my latest offence and downfall, but mum found me with my front leg down between Aimee's back legs, so that we were joined together by the straps on her rug - which I must say in my defence was still on her back and where it should be. Now is it my responsibility that rug designers put these stupid straps just where a playful donkey's leg might slip.....Mum says Aimee wouldn't need the blooming straps on her rug if I left it alone....I have to concede that there is an element of truth in that.

But there we were, like siamese twins, joined by the tail strap on the rug, and stuck there. Aimee tried to move forward, dragging me with her, but my weight pulled the rug backwards, so she couldn't move any more, as it was so tight with both of us trying to wear it.

Mum scolded me, after disentangling us, and told me that's how tragic accidents like broken legs happen, and this leads to dead donkeys.

I am chastened, but next time I will not be stupid enough to get caught. I have a cunning plan.

My New Year Party is Ruined

2010-01-08T02:29:00.000-08:00

I had it all planned, the pink champagne fountain, canapes, a few special guests such as the Scottish stumpies. The invitations had gone out and my New Year party was going to be the talk of the county.

I was just coming in to get into my glad rags when it all went pear shaped. Or Rosie shaped.

She just had to do it to mess things up!

Mum had come to bring us in for an early evening supper before we got down to the serious Hogmanay celebrations. Line the stomach and all that before we taste some malts later on. Rosie was standing there, one leg dangling - naturally blocking the way so NONE of us could get in, talk about being inconsiderate, if you are going to break you leg in the field could you do it without any inconvenience to your field mates.

Mum in a panic runs down the hill - leaving us all standing (well all of us except Rosie)- shouting at dad to ring vet and tell him to bring a gun (remember Rosie is needle phobic of course). Comes back, tries to get Rosie to move, but she can't, I have, at this moment a tiny soupcon of sympathy for the old trout, as she is wincing in pain and almost in tears. She just cannot put her leg down and stand on it. It doesn't look good I have to say.

In the end, we clever donkeys manage to squeeze past her and come in for our supper! After all, if the silly trout is going to be shot, I'm not going to miss my dinner for that - i saw enough death at the death camp in France, so excuse me if I am not as upset as all that.

Molly is eventually brought in, but dad doesn't take her rug off, as she is in a complete tizz without Rosie and charging at the door, so the best thing is to get her in and just close it. Molly refuses to eat her dinner, box walks and turns her stable into a sauna. Which was very good hearted of her as it is sub zero up here. Molly can usually be relied upon to do the right thing and have some community spirit.

Mum has by now taken three more of Rosie's rugs down to her - as the old biddy was going into shock and was so cold - and also her dinner so that if she is going to be shot, she at least has something to eat first. Very considerate I think. They were gone for such a long time, it is so cold out there, I am worried for mum as she wasn't wearing her proper outdoor clothes! Just a skimpy blouse under her jacket.

She manages to drag Rosie up the walkway to about 50 yards from the barn, so at least she isn't in the dark and the lights can illuminate her. I hear her begging Rosie to try to walk, as if she is to be saved she has to get to the stables or it is useless. I can hear her crying and pleading with Rosie but Rosie can't move, she just can't take another step, she is swaying and unsteady and very worried.

Finally the vet arrives, declares that Rosie is a big Jessie and it doesn't look like a fracture. With a bit of encouragement and shoving Rosie finally comes into the barn, still very very scared and sore. The vet clips her leg, dresses a very very deep wound, and leaves me to the ruins of my party.

Rosie is very sore, very worried, she grunts a lot, won't eat. Molly is by now dripping with sweat, and eyes popping out of her head, mum spends the next two hours trying to get her dry and not quite so warm.

I start ringing my guests - party cancelled.

Lights are out by 11pm - I think of what might have been! I am booking up for a cruise next year.

Saffy Super Cat is Dead

2009-12-28T06:11:00.001-08:00

Little Saffy left us today, everyone is in pieces.

The elderly British Blue had to be pts this morning, as she had gone off her food (mental note keep eating Vodka), and a large growth in her tummy was discovered.

She was taken to the vets yesterday and had tests, and given some painkillers and other stuff to see if it would help her, and she was perky last night, so they tell me as I am not allowed in the house to watch tv at night - why not I may ask?

Anyway this morning she was poorly again and she was operated on to try to remove the growth but sadly it was too big and she has the beginnings of peritonitis, which mum says is something you don't want to have, so it was the final curtain for the wonderful Saffy.

Mum says she was the bravest, feistiest cat in the world, who ruled the household with an iron paw. Everyone is very very upset and there is an empty basket in the kitchen.

Winter Wonder Land

2009-12-26T04:52:00.001-08:00

It has been very snowy here, so we had a white Christmas and I did my best braying along with Bing Crosby - personally I think I have a better tone to my voice and certainly more hair....

I have had my special xmas meal with stout and carrots and apples - quite why I don't get this every day is a mystery but mum says I must be Drink Aware - well I would be aware of the nice taste of Mackeson as it adds flavour to that miserable sugar beet stuff she says I must eat for fibre, with a feeble topping of pony mix on top. Honestly, it is a bit frugal.

However, I have grown at least another 3-6 inches since June - the wonderful nice colourful rugs mum bought for me for this winter, and which fitted me perfectly in June when I did a twirl in them before they were put away to 'keep for good' - well they don't fit me now. My nice donkey ass is exposed - I have grown another 3 inches along my back and I show a bit of bottom and tail.....mum is muttering about the fact that three brand new rugs which are 5ft now need tob e 5'3....she says I will just have to make do as she isn't buying me any more.

At Christmas time, and this is my second Christmas here, I always reflect on how lucky I am - I should, by rights, not be alive, as I was headed for the abattoir. Instead here I am, a fit, healthy happy large donkey who just can't believe how fortunate I was to be picked out and brought to safety. Every day is a bonus for me.

As I stand in the snow, watching the robins and all the other birds eat the chickens' feed, and also the food at their feeding stations (mum says she spends almsot as much feeding wild birds as she does me, I knew it, I am being rationed...), I can only say thank you Revolution Vodka Bars for putting up the money to buy me and save my life. I think of all my friends who didn't make it, who are long gone, Elizabeth, Lak Un and her baby foal, all the others who didn't even have names. I got a chance and they didn't.

As the year ends, it has been a pretty dreadful year for horses - it's been bad for people who with credit crunches (is this a new horse cereal I haven't tried yet?) - but it has been really really bad for horses ponies and donkeys, as so many have hit hard times. Mum says that if I had been unlucky enough to be at the fat farm this year, I probably would not have been saved, as it has been so so much harder to raise money as everyone is feeling the pinch, and there are so many more horses and donkeys in need. So she says that I was doubly lucky in that my date with fate came at just the right time, when there was a way out for me.

Every night, as I got to bed in my stripey jim jams (also 3 inches too short), I say a little prayer for all the horses and donkeys out there who are in bad places, cold, tired, hungry, destined to die. I wish I was Vodka Superdonkey and could wave a wand and make it a happy time for you, but as I can't all I can do is say I'm sorry.

So Near, But So Gone

2009-12-11T00:35:00.000-08:00

For months and months, we have struggled to raise the money to save this plain little mare and her plain little colt foal.

We have made and sold xmas cards, done collections, sold things on Ebay, you name it, mum and a number of other like minded people have raided their piggy banks and found pennies to add to the pile.

Finally the large sum of £1000 was reached and we could say to the farmer at the fat farm, Lak Un, the little lady, can be home in time for Christmas.

Sadly, she is gone. They have so many anonymous horses there and she was only little and nothing special, but they looked and she wasn't there. So she and her baby won't be having that wonderful special Christmas in freedom and in safety but are both probably dead. More than likely they went to the butchers' fairs, or on the lorry to Italy. They are probably hanging up for sale now.

Mum is very very upset. While there are lots of other mums and their babies waiting to be saved, and one will benefit from Lak Un's demise, the reason she was chosen was that she was so hopeless, nothing much to recommend her, not a looker, nothing going for her. Which is why she touched your heart.

Mum says I should remember that when I was on the site for sale, I looked like a little scrap of fur and it was only my face, that sad young little confused face that touched her heart and said save me please. So she did.

It was two years ago in December that she first saw me, and it took her till March to get all the money together to save me and my friend Cazaux, what if I had been like Lak Un, gone.

At times like this, I realise just what a very lucky donkey I am.

Vodka Horse & Pony Magazine Charity Donkey of the Year

2009-12-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

Vodka, our little princess, was voted by readers of Horse and Pony Magazine as their charity donkey of the year. Up against fierce opposition - including her stable companion Aimee - Vodka beat off all contestants and is thrilled to be the winner. She promises to promote world peace and all the usual stuff, and awaits her crown and sash! She hopes there might also be a throne but we have explained to her that this might not be possible.

Her mum hopes that she can manage to post the entire article but so far the technology involved is beyond her, so here are some of the individual pictures.

Little Donkey Blown Up - How Can People Do This?

2009-11-29T01:32:00.000-08:00

I am in shock, mum has told me what has happened to a little donkey in Afghanistan - now that is somewhere I do not want to go on holiday if this is how they treat my friends.

"The Afghan army platoon has received some information that the insurgents were going to try to strap an improvised explosive device to a donkey and send it towards camp. Donkeys do not have the reputation of being the most pliant animal so it was treated with some scepticism at first.

Then in the afternoon the gate guard realised that there was something suspicious going on. A group had just let go of a donkey a short way from camp and hurried off. He tried to divert the animal with flares and other warnings. Obstinacy not being the best quality in that situation, the beast of burden eventually had to be stopped by a rifle shot.

The team went out and established there was something very suspicious under the bundle of hay carried by the donkey. Eventually one brave A&A warrior set fire to the hay with a flare from a distance and 30 seconds later there was a considerable explosion.

No one was hurt, swift appropriate actoin had saved them from an unusual attack but it is impossible to report a donkey IED up the chain of commant without a rye small at the ridiculousness of it or a feeling that the world is slightly off its axis."

The world has gone totally bonkers using an innocent donkey as a bomb, I am crying in my cornflakes. This just confirms that I am one of the luckiest donkeys in the world, mum says no one is getting near me with TNT.

It's Xmas Card Time

2009-11-17T10:01:00.001-08:00

As a very very busy and innovative donkey, I am selling Xmas Cards this year - being generous I have let Aimee have the front page slot, but if you want any cards, for your discerning friends, they are printed up on nice gold glitter paper and cost £0.70p each - all proceeds and I mean ALL going to help save another donkey from slaughter.

This is how beautiful Aimee is on the card - get in fast and buy up our stock! I am on the back of the card looking suitably festive.

Bon Voyage and Send Me a Postcard

2009-10-18T10:31:00.001-07:00

Mum says that these poor little fellows are being loaded onto the bad lorries, the ones that take them to either Italy (for the salami trade) or to a local killing place.

I wish I could be there to warn them, don't go in, jump the fence, run like stink. But I'm not, so they don't. If only I was Vodka Superdonkey I would swoop down there with my cloak flapping and scoop them all up and keep them safe. But I am only a very young but large brown French donkey who, while clever and smart, can't solve all the bad things that happen in the world. I am leaving that to Mr Obama - maybe he could do a flying visit to the butchers fairs and declare them unconstitutional or something. Equines don't like this idea of special rendition, we would prefer to stay at home please.

As an innocent young donkey, if I'd been there, would I have known that jumping ship now was a very good idea. Tunnel while you can, become a puissance donkey capable of jumping any fence and literally running for my life. Thankfully, though this was my destiny, I dodged it.

If fate hadn't intervened and given me that huge lucky break, what would I have done, gone on the lorry or had a tantrum. I suspect, that given how cowed, submissive and frightened I was, I would have gone one. I guess the brave Cazaux, my erstwhile companion, might have put up a bit of a fight, but being a gentleman, if I'd gone in I'm sure he would have too, just to look after me. I wouldn't have known any better. And anyway I wouldn't have been given much choice, as if you don't go, they beat you. So eventually you follow the others. And that's it, trapped.

This is the last time you will see the sky, taste grass, have a drink of water, enjoy a stretch, have a snooze. However long your journey, you probably won't be fed, or given any rest or water, you will just trundle on all through France, heading south to the barbaric country that is Italy.

Mum says it's a shame that such a cultured nation can have such peculiar habits, which extend to killing foals, killing pregnant mares. At least the French draw the line at that, you have to have the baby before they kill you.

The last thing you see at the market is sticks waving, folks shouting, and that's pretty much what you are going to see at the end of your final journey.

Bon voyage.

Death's Waiting Room for Horses

2009-10-18T10:14:00.001-07:00

This is death row, this is the poor little meat horses who have been sold to the butcher - this could have been Vodka donkey, been weighed, price paid for me, ready to go on the lorry on my final journey.

Mum says it is so painful to see these pictures, all the poor innocent young horses, all dead now, hanging up in a Boucherie Chevaline by now. Most of them never had names, never knew much kindness in their short brutish lives - and they died a pretty nasty death.

She says that whenever I am a bad donkey, I should remember these pictures and appreciate what a lucky girl I am. This was my destiny and I evaded it.

I am concerned that it may still be lurking behind a bush, waiting to catch up with me, but mum says destiny doesn't tend to work that way. It wasn't my destiny to go for the chop, or be made into chops.

I am so relieved, it makes me very ashamed that this morning I attacked Ferguson, tried to pull his rug off, hung from his neck, bit his short stumpy legs, then chased him around in circles - he would never admit it but he loves it really. When he has had enough he boots me fair and square and I give up.

These poor little ponies won't get to play any more. I shall have to think of ways to save some of them.

The Poor Mother Horses And Their Babies

2009-10-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

Mum says when she looks at this picture of the mares and foals at the butchers sale, she can't stop crying.

The total waste of breeding a nice little foal, and then to send the foal and its mum to be killed - and the anguish of the little mare, trying to protect her baby, but she can't.

She will be driven onto a lorry with all the other horses, all in together, with her baby, with all these strange horses she doesn't know. They may attack her, or her baby and there is nothing she can do about it.

The last thing she will see is either her baby being killed right in front of her, or she will be killed first if she tries to fight to protect it too much.

Mum says that countries in Europe were at the heart of civilisation centuries ago, but that they seem to be slipping back to the dark ages in terms of their cruelty and callousness to gentle horses.

Have to say I agree with her totally, and I am only an ass.

The Poor Baby Horses

2009-10-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

Mum has showed me this picture of the baby horses, at the butchers' fair in October, all penned up,ready to go to their deaths.

They look nice little foalies, charming, sweet, nice natured - probably scared out of their minds in this strange place, with all the noise, people prodding and poking them (to see how heavy they are), sticks waving to make them move.

The sad thing is, these little chunky babies make exactly the sort of riding ponies that people want, 14-15 hands high, built to carry weight, suitable for a child or adult, calm temperament, easy to learn, just what the doctor ordered. But they won't get the chance to show how they could have won rosettes, got their clever horse diploma. They are considered worthless, other than for the value of the meat on their bones.

As they are all unused to people, and unhandled, it makes it all the more scary for them. What they don't know is that they have very little time left to live, they are going either to the local butcher, or off on a ride to Italy.

Either way, it isn't a good future. However brief.

My Second Anniversary

2009-10-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

In October 2007, I arrived in France. I didn't know it at the time but this is a very very dangerous time to be in France if you are an equine, or even a donk.

This is the time that all the lazy people who don't want to pay for their horses over winter, having used them all summer, throw them away. Riding schools, tourist attractions, carriage horses from the major tourist cities, petting zoos, petting farms, anywhere a horse can be useful, and has done a summer's work, well this is the thanks they get.

They get sent for slaughter. There are big markets, where thousands of horses ponies and donkeys are penned up, and the butcher comes round and buys them.

Being an innocent donkey, I had no idea that the timing of my arrival in France could be so tragic. Mum says she has now seen some pictures of these fairs, and it breaks here heart to think of me there, all alone, or with my mum, or maybe with my old mate Cazaux. Bless his little cotton socks.

Like me, he was lucky. We didn't go to the butchers fairs, but we did have a pretty miserable winter, out in the fields, fighting for food, we got cold and thin, we got lice, we got long feet. But we didn't die. So we were lucky.

I cannot stop crying when I see all these poor creatures just waiting to go on the death lorries. I know that they haven't been saved, as the ones in these pictures are now dead. A few might have been bought by kind people who wanted to save them, but there just aren't enough of these people around.

Caladeux and Eclipse

2009-10-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

Aimee had a hoof in saving the lives of this little mare and her baby, Eclipse.

Poor Caladeux has not been handled, and is very shy, not had much of a life so far, just loads of babies. Her little filly, Eclipse, is a beautiful young lady and hopefully will learn that people are nice to her. Cally hasn't had much experience of them being nice, so she is very timid and wary.

I am so proud of Aimee, even though it galls me to say so. The charity work she does, and the generosity of local people who give her money, have given this little pair a new life and a future.

2009 has been a dire year for horses, home and away. It has been a very dangerous year to be an equine.

Lily - Saved by Aimee

2009-10-13T10:32:00.001-07:00

You may remember the sad little chestnut filly that Aimee, our star fundraising donkey, helped to escape from the fat farm.

Well Lily is doing so so well, much happier. Here is a picture of her when she first arrived, you can compare the two pictures.....

Saffy Has Surgery Again

2009-10-13T10:24:00.001-07:00

Poor old Saffy cat has been in the wars again. She has a big lump removed from her face, a few months back, and some nasty lumps appeared in her neck.

Mum is very worried, thinks it isn't very good news, but the lumps have been removed and everyone hopes that Saffy makes a full recovery. Here she is sleeping it off after her operation.

Vodka Is Photographed

2009-10-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

I have been snapped, some strange people came to do what they call a photo shoot - the word shoot alarmed me......I come from a place where shooting is a real life hazard, i.e. they shoot horses, ponies and innocent donkeys.....

I was so relieved that it was just with a camera with funny lens thing and moved - Spencer the sheep had a go at eating it....

Naturally things didn't go smoothly. Mum kept us in and spent about one whole hour coming and grooming me. I had every knot untangled, and had my ear fluff trimmed, everything done. Aimee and Ferguson also were groomed. I had my rug put on and of course what did I do, I rolled....there was a lot of muttering about how I was even worse than I had been before she started.

She said I was a very very bad donkey and that she was now going to leave me to ponder my wrong doings and come back about 10 minutes before the camera to pretty me up again....

So when the camera and crew arrived, I was photographed in the stable with the two scottish stumpies. Then it was decided some action shots outdoors were needed, so they went out to do a recce. My chance. I rolled for all I was worth!

One side of me, nice and clean, the other side, totally plastered with shavings. When everyone came back, and saw the state of me, mum looked thunderous. They even took pictures of my bad side.

I then had this funny tinsel stuff put on me, and we did some action shots of me in my big field, the scottish stumpies kept trying to get in on the act - after all Aimee was in the same competition BUT DIDN'T WIN. I let her join in as she has been so depressed about coming last....poor old donkey, class will out.

So we are crossing hooves and waiting to see if I look perfectly stunning - I know I will, it's the problem of being let down by others in the pictures.

A Visit to the Two Little Frenchies

2009-09-20T04:33:00.000-07:00

Mum and Dad have been to see Caladeux and her baby filly foal, Eclipse, commonly known as Elly.

Mum said that Cally is even prettier in real life, but shy, and the little foalie person has the longest legs in the world and is quite delightful. I am surprised she did not smuggle them back in the car with them.

Cally is a bit overwhelmed, new place, languages to learn, plus she has to chill out as now she doesn't have to worry about anything. A charity has taken her on for the rest of her life, so as soon as Elly is weaned, Cally will either retire completely or perhaps find a new career as a riding pony if she feels she wants to pursue professional development in this way.

She is one of the last of the lucky french ones as the farm she came from all the horses will be going for slaughter very soon, as they don't want to run it any more. From my point of view, this is excellent news, as they won't be having any more horses, but for the horses,donkeys and foals there it's the worst of news, as unless some money is found for them very quickly, they have no chance whatsoever.

I am very very upset about this - some of them are just 12-15 months old, some are this year's foallies with their mums, still drinking her milk, it is awful. I am powerless to do anything for them and it makes me so so sad that I can't help them.

A new member of the family

2009-09-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

One of the battery hens has fulfilled her life's ambition, she has hatched out a chick. Of course she chose a pretty inconvenient time to do it, one of those Saturdays that Aimee was off fund raising and suddenly kitten pens were put up, mother and baby inserted into pen, chicken pellets put in the magimix and made into crumbs.

Just what you need when you are busy and trying to get Aimee donkey clean, loaded and out there strutting her stuff.

Mum says that chick is now getting quite big and is convinced it will of course be a cockerel given she already have 4 of these useless things already. She's not even convinced that the hen that thinks it is the mum is actually the mum. She is a typical red/brown battery hen, but the chick is black with silver legs, which is suspiciously like the cochin hens she has, and the daddy has to be the cuckoo speckled maran cross.....so she thinks the mum has to be the cochin but for whatever reason the little battery girl has claimed it as her own.

She is totally made up about it. In the daytime, she and the baby go into Molly's stable and run around. She has been teaching it how to scratch and dig, and mum says she isn't quite as ferocious as she was on day one, when she would have killed you if you tried to go near her baby.

I am pleased for her, it must be sad to lay all those eggs with no result! She is a very very proud mum and at night time you can see her, sitting down to sleep, with the little head of the baby sticking out from under her feathers. Aw. I want one of those too.

We Have Been House Sat

2009-09-20T04:24:00.000-07:00

They cleared off and left us for a few days.....we were inspected by this lady called Evonne who was left to deal with us!

Well of course, Rosie played up, managed to lose her muzzle. The rest of us however got a Gold Star for being talented well behaved donkeys who did exactly what mum said we would do.....

We were pleased to see her back, particularly as they were late....it was almost dark....something about a 3 hour boat trip on Lake Windermere. I ask you, is that more important than getting a donkey's dinner and putting them to bed. I was very very hurt and tried to sulk, but couldn't keep it out....

Have to say the place was much tidier and cleaner when they were away.....mum says she is ashamed that the house looked tidier and cleaner as well.....

Aimee Saves Another Little Life

2009-08-31T05:15:00.000-07:00

That donkey really does do it - any collection, another little one safe and sound.

Beautiful little chestnut filly, only 3 years old, far too young to die.

I like the look of her, we are going to be pen pals I hope. Vodka donkey has to admit that Aimee really does have the fund raising gene, or genie in her case.

Aimee Saves Lives

2009-08-23T10:21:00.001-07:00

Aimee, bless her little cotton socks, did her fund raising at the weekend and people just loved her - why I don't know. She is an annoying little spotted thing, in my esteemed opinion, but she seems to sway hearts and get the pennies going into her tin.

She raised £700! What an amazing little donkey. There was so much stress for her, as a little mare and her baby - Caladeux and her foal Eclipse - were waiting for another £500 to save their lives so no pressure Aimee, get the money or they get the bullet.....Aimee says if it had been for me, Vodka donkey, she would have downed tools and refused to be charming, but as it was for an amazingly sweet little pony and her filly foal, she fluttered her long eyelashes, walked the walk and talked the talk, so to bray.

What a clever donkey she is, even I have to admit it. These two will be safe and sound soon!

Pivione Tibere and Now Ulysses

2009-08-23T10:12:00.001-07:00

As a compassionate Vodka donkey, I was very very upset that these three little donkeys were going for the unkindest cut, i.e. the chop.

I did my best, got Aimee galvanised into fund raising and the excellent news is that Pivione, a lovely little grey girl donkey - hey we could have been pen pals and good friends you know - her son Tibere and a little one year old friend, Ulysses, are all safe at Sussex Horse Rescue Trust.

Me, I am thrilled, while it would be great to meet them and rub noses and do all the usual hi how are you stuff, you can say hello to my other french friends in Sussex, like Kevin, Padraig etc. They are nice donkeys too, maybe you could all make a video and send it to me.

For the moment, here are a few shots of the lovely trio.

They look so relaxed already.

August Has to be better than July

2009-08-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

July was all doom and gloom, horses getting killed, nothing happening.

I thought that August would be better, we might be into bbq season as promised, but no, mud mud mud, rain rain rain.

Only good thing is at least I am coming into my stable again at night.....

Some good comes out of bad weather.

Life Can Be So Cruel

2009-07-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

I am distraught, I have just heard that one of my friends from France, little Lunar, has been killed - this brings all the worries back to me, I thought I was safe but is it going to happen to me?

Little Lunar was innocently grazing in her field, when the electricity pylon dropped a cable and killed her. Burnt to toast. She was the little brown one on the left of the picture with the sweet innocent face, full of hope, full of love, happy to be here. What a dreadful waste.

Mum is very upset at the thought of such a dreadful death for Lunar, especially as she had come all the way to the UK, been much loved, and irony of all irony, was due to move at the weekend to a new home, where she was going to be a driving pony and have a proper career. She was going to a forever home with another pony as company, and to learn new skills and be a useful citizen.

How cruel is that?

I am not enjoying July at all, it is all death, doom and gloom. Apart from me beating Aimee, there isn't much to shout about - it rained lots and lots today, mum says the angels are crying for Lunar - I just wish they could send her back to where she was loved.

Why Are These Horses Going to Die - 2

2009-07-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

Pair of beautiful young mares, up to weight, why on earth are they so worthless that all they are fit for is going for slaughter?

With a bit of training they could both be excellent riding horses or trained to drive - what a total waste. Vodka donkey is so upset that these quality horses are unwanted and going for the chop. Makes her realise even more what a lucky girl she is.

Why Are These Horse Going to Die - 1

2009-07-22T11:57:00.001-07:00

I can't believe that this beautiful stallion is on the fat farm and going for slaughter. What a lovey boy he is - you could see him working, he is such a beautiful fellow.

I am crossing everything that someone somewhere wants to buy him and save his life.

Goodbye Little Jessica

2009-07-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

Mum was crying today, she had just found out that her friends, Liz and John, had just lost Jessica their lovely tabby cat.

Mum used to have a tabby Jessica as well. She was a lovely lanky cat, waspish to other cats, but very very loving to people. She had come to live with mum when Jessica's mum went overseas and didn't know what to do with her - well naturally Jessica was made welcome (she has even more cats than she has donkeys) and had a very happy few years living with the other cats. Mum says she loved Jessica very much and that Jessica returned all the love and was an extremely gentle and sensitive cat who could tune into how you were feeling and give you a little extra hug if you were feeling down.

Jessica died suddenly and very dramatically. In the middle of the night she developed breathing problems, and Mum and Dad at 2am had to drive to the vets to get emergency treatment for her. She lay on mum's lap in the car, unable to breath, and choked to death, dying about 5 minutes from the vets. Her larynx had closed over and she couldn't breath. Mum still doesn't know what caused it, some allergic reaction but to what.

Mum says she has never witnessed such a dreadful death and never wants to, the fear and terror of poor Jessica as she fought for her life, all in vain. She says she has had many a cat make a final visit to the vet, but never seen one die in such panic and pain and never wants to again.

But there is a twist to the tail, so to speak.

Jessica's previous mum was working in Hong Kong and mum was trying frantically to get in touch with her to tell her that Jessica had died. She finally tracked her down and told her that she had died, but that we didn't know why. Her sister is one of these people who sometimes 'sees things' - no she isn't daft, she is just sensitive and sometimes things happen that can't be explain. She was on the ferry crossing the harbour at Hong Kong, on her own, hadn't spoken to her sister all day, didn't know that Jessica was dead or even ill, and then she saw Jessica, galloping along a long hallway. Jessica spoke to her and said that she was ok, it had been very sudden and frightening but she was ok now, and to tell mum not to worry. When she got home she told her sister all this, and she told her that Jessica had died that day.

Cynics out there might say this is all a joke, but no, she was able to describe our hallway at home perfectly, and she didn't know that Jessica was dead, or that Jessica used to love to gallop up and down it at great speed, doing wheelies. She had never been to the house, in fact she had never met Jessica only seen a photo of her, yet she was able to describe in detail the hallway, and Jessica running along it.

Mum says she would like to think that Jessica came back home, just one final time, to say goodbye to her home and her friends. She hopes that both Jessica cats are now running around in heaven together and playing, all their cares behind them.

Me, I don't know, I just think there are some things that just can't be explained logically.

After all, why was I, Vodka donkey, saved from death, when there are so many other equally deserving donkeys who don't get that chance? I think I had a guardian angel looking after me. Otherwise why me? Why not one of the others.

All I know is that I am truly grateful for the new life I have been given and I promise to live it to the full and not complain too much (well just a bit) and be a very good girl (have to say that but of course you know that I may be telling the odd little fib).

What Has Happened To The Weather

2009-07-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

I really am confused, it is supposed to be summer now, torrential rain, mud in the fields, mud inside my field shelter. What on earth is going on here?

Mum had actually laundered all my winter rugs, they had been washed and dried and carefully folded and put away on the rack that says Rugs for Vodka - actually I have two racks as I have so many rugs now - and now they have all had to be dragged out again to keep me warm and dry.

I've had it - I am booking a flight from Prestwick and I am off clubbing in Ibiza. It will be Ministry of Sound Chilled Vodka for me now, I can see me swaying on the beach, cocktail in hand - Aimee has unkindly pointed out to me that if I turn up in Spain they may expect me to do some work, carting stuff. Oh she is so bitter and twisted that SHE didn't win the poll and I did.

Mum says she will be engaging a therapist for Aimee to investigate why she didn't win and provide her with coping mechanisms so that she will not be afraid of failure in the future. Me, I just chuckle malevolently.....Ferguson, being sensible, is staying well out of it.

Goodbye Little Girls

2009-07-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a bad month. What with the credit crunch and everything, more of the horses on the meat farm are going for meat.

First of all it was Elizabeth, so sad as someone actually wanted to help her but too late.

Then Clocue and Margo have both gone from the farm, so we know they are no longer with us.

Both youngish mares, 10 years old, probably not very handled, never going to be the easiest to find a sanctuary for, but still sad, two little lives lost.

I hope it was quick for you. And that you didn't suffer.

But I don't really believe that.

Vodka is very sad, although she didn't know them, she has been told all about them and says it makes her success all so trivial now. She makes me feel guilty too as I could have done more for them, tried to help them.

Vodka Horse & Pony Charity Donkey of the Year Poll

2009-07-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

Mum tells me that my charm, beauty and general donkey perfection has been recognised far and wide and that I am the proud winner of the Horse and Pony Poll for Charity Donkey of the Year. Photographers, cameras and tape recorders are expected next month to record me for posterity.

So first of all may I thank all of you who voted for me - you have shown exquisite taste - and for those of you who voted for the spotty scottish stumpy, Aimee, well better luck next time. Aimee is not talking to me for some reason. Hard to see why but hey everyone hates a bad loser.

I have never had to worry about that, as it is clear to me that I am a winner. A star donkey. From the minute I stepped down the ramp in Scotland, my life changed forever in fact it's hard for me to remember all those bad times, how cold and skinny I was and how frightened. It's a bit like a bad dream, I'm sure it happened but I just don't want to go back there, thank you.

To all my fans, thank you. Mum says I must not become more big headed than I already am, or I won't get in the field shelter, my head will be too big - it is quite a narrow doorway but I think I can puff up with pride just a little.

I have travelled a long distance in miles to come to my new home, but the distance in other ways has been just as great. I think of my friends, like little Elizabeth, who didn't get the chance to become a useful equine citizen and have a home where people appreciate them. I am a very lucky donkey.

I intend to be a fine ambassador, and will work for world peace, saving the planet, and all the other things you are supposed to do - but mainly I intend to have a happy life and never let Aimee forget that she DIDN'T WIN!

R.I.P. Elizabeth

2009-06-22T14:34:00.001-07:00

You were only a 5 year old little mare, you looked a bit skitty, a bit young, probably a bit wild.

We all prayed that someone would want you and say let's save Elizabeth. Came too late for you honey. You went for live export and are now dead.

We heard about it today. That you were gone. That it was too late. A poor young frightened semi wild unhandled girl hurtling to her death. With not a friendly face a kind word, or someone she knew to calm her.

Would like to think you didn't suffer, you weren't afraid, you didn't panic, they didn't hurt you. But I don't believe in fairy tales.

Hats Off for Aimee - Possible Charity Donkey of the Year

2009-06-21T10:16:00.001-07:00

This clever little donkey - ok I was paid to say this - has been out there pounding the streets doing her fund raising for other less fortunate donkeys. Me, well while I am still in the lead in the charity donkey of the year competition (lead is slipping away, please vote for me on the Horse and Pony Website), I am gettng ready for my photoshoot if I win. So I am exercising gently, working out which is my best profile etc.

Aimee on the other hoof has raised £460 for the Brooke Hospital (hip hip hooray Aimee), £250 for Animal Refuge Carlisle and £350 for Animal Care in Egypt - so all these other horses ponies and donkeys are going to be so glad that little short ass is working her little short ass bottom off for them.

She gets so tired, comes home and lies down, mum says it is mainly due to the surfeit of carrots, polomints, apples etc which have passed down Aimee neck! She is so full she can hardly stand up.

So while of course there is no chance she is going to win charity donkey of the year - a measly 4% of the vote compared to my (slipping) 23%, though it pains me I do have to do she does a bit more for charity than I do.

But I do have many charitable thoughts - just not many about Aimee....

We are the Klu Klux Klanners

2009-06-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

The things we get dressed up in....it is very midgy weather at the moment so mum has rigged us up in this ridiculous fancy dress - ok it keeps the dratted midges at bay but what does it do for your stret cred?

I mean we can hardly turn up for London Fashion Week looking like this.....as mum says all we need is our Fiery Cross and we are all set for a meeting....

We are still waiting

2009-06-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

Aimee and I are very very worried donkeys, will either of us win this charity donkey competition or are we going to be pipped at the post. Mum is hoping that I will, particulary as she says she has 'reserved' a little boy donkey and is trying to get his mum to safety and it would be wonderful if i could win something, get some publicity and maybe some donations to help fund him.... here he is - isn't he lovely....

Molly Goes for Precision.......

2009-06-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

Mum got a shock recently when she came to give us our breakfast.....she went into feed the daft donut Molly, the retired for years coloured cob who hasn't a brain cell worth counting...Anyway mum was just about to tip Molly's breakfast into her manger when she noticed that it was swimming.....Molly had managed to piddle in it.

Given it is hanging from the wall, and not very large, quite how she managed to precision pee into the manger is a mystery! Given her long bushy tail and the height of the manger, it is a pretty amazing technical achievement!

Of course, mum couldn't put the breakfast in there and had to go and get a container, while the Mad Mare danced around wondering where her breakfast had disappeared to...then mum had the job of clearing out the manger, which is fixed to the wall, so one roll of kitchen towel later, it was all mopped up.

Some horses are totally bonkers....wouldn't catch me doing anything daft like that.

Hoorah for the Hens

2009-06-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

The clever little cluckers don't know it, but two boxes of their eggs won a prize at the local agricultural show.

OK, we don't want them to get too big headed as there weren't many other entrants in the class, but the good little Maran hens were second, and the other little bantam won with six beautiful buff eggs.

So well done cluckers! Maybe some nice mixed corn for you for dinner.

Vote for Vodka Donkey - Horse & Pony Charity Donkey of the Year Poll

2009-05-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well I knew it would finally happen, my qualities would be recognised by all and sundry - mum tells me I have been nominated for the Charity Donkey of the Year and voting is live as we speak.

The only downside is that one certain short legged spotted scottish stumpy has also been nominated for her fundraising efforts. Now I know folks are discerning so why scrape the bottom of the barrel and include her highness, the Aimee....I mean I know I have to share a stable with her but class will out...

The atmosphere in the stable is at fever pitch, particularly as I am in the lead with 18% of the vote. Now I ask you, the other 82% of you, what did you do wrong? Did you hit the wrong key and place your vote for the wrong donkey, or because I am at the bottom of the ballot, you got tired of reading and voted for someone else - Aimee is first, so maybe that argument doesn't work, as she has only 5%....hee haw...hee haw....

She had a right lip on tonight, very grumpy, muttering. Ferguson was keeping his head down, staying well out of it. Jennies, he says, who'd have them.

I can see it already, my own publicist, stylist, manicurist (no common farriers for me in future, I want to go to a nail bar). Mum says something about counting chickens and hatching....don't get this as we have chickens here and eggs are hatched so what's wrong with that.

I suppose I'd better let you see some of the opposition.....

But if you want to vote for me, here is the link

The link to vote is:

http://www.horseandpony.com/cgi-bin/view_polls.pl

Go on there and get voting!

I Break My Promise

2009-05-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

I did say when I was finally liberated from the dark, cold, miserable field, that I would be good.

Well next morning, when breakfast came, I reverted to my old trick of I will eat everyone's breakfast. The shock of having to live out (all the bad memories of France and being cold and hungry) clearly traumatised me again, so that when I tried to eat Aimee's breakfast, and she objected, I turned round and booted her...Double barrelled her.

Neither she, nor mum, were terribly pleased with me.

Mum said I was a nasty ungrateful donkey. Oh I am ashamed...I knew I shouldn't do it...

Vodka is Abandoned

2009-05-01T11:36:00.001-07:00

They did it, they left us.

They had to go away for the weekend. Now we are used to coming in at night for cocktails, dinner, a wee dram then bed, get our jim jams on and down we go for a bit of shut eye. None of this roughing it in a field.

We got suspicious, instead of going into the big field, we were herded into the little one with the field shelter. But we came in at night, lulled into thinking it would be ok. In some ways it was, there is lots of nice new grass there as it has been rested all winter and there was all this lovely tender green stuff just perfect for a Vodka donkey.

Next day, we went in there joyfully, thinking fine, no worries. BUT they left us there, no dinner, no room service, just the field shelter to cower in the cold....I ran up and down the field, yelling at them as I could see them there, watching tv, having a glass of wine. I shouted and shouted but no I was IGNORED.....went to bed hurt. I also managed to make sure that I had most of the field shelter and the Scottish stumpies got very very little of it. We spent a mournful night nursing our wrath to keep it warm....

Next morning, no breakfast again. As it was sunny and midgy they took off my outdoor rug and put on my fly rug, then gave me a hug and left me.

FOR THREE DAYS! They went on Saturday and didn't get back till Monday night.

When I saw the car, I screamed at mum, braying with all my heart, let me in....please....I'll be good. Finally, back in my stable, my dinner, my nightie, oh it felt good.

Parking Ecosse Hang Your Heads in Shame

2009-05-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

Aimee got a ticket. Yes our little fundraising friend, Aimee, bless her cotton socks, was out on her fundraising to help other equines in need, this time visiting Kilmarnock.

Her Aimee mobile was parked in a car park owned by Parking Ecosse - they don't have any signs up saying no trailers, and the ground isn't marked into bays, but when Aimee came trudging wearily home, there was a ticket on the windscreen!

Mum was not pleased - you don't want to see not pleased, I tell you, it's scary. She can do grumpy old woman perfectly. Jobsworth parking person comes over and starts saying that we took up 4 spaces and had only paid for 1.....well I know that Aimee has a smart trailer, but it isn't that big....After a lot of shouting and gesticulating, mum paid for a second spot and he 'removed' the ticket. Aimee, being a very very smart girl, showed her displeasure by lifting her tail.

Jobsworth tells mum to pick it up - she says there isn't a sign about poo picking and anyone for donkeys you don't have to poo pick, unlike dogs. Normally she does when Aimee is out and about, she carries plastic bags, rubber gloves, brush, water, and usually really cleans up, but on this occasion she was extremely inclined to leave it as a mark of respect. In the end she did pick it up - jobsworth has no idea how close he was to having a very close encounter with Aimee poo... she would have you know.

So Parking Ecosse, you are a very community spirited company who penalises poor charity workers, by not making your terms and conditions explicitly clear...and not having someone on site all the time to point out what you expect motorists to do!

Aimee will be back later this year.....watch where you walk....

Vodka Donkey is Dive Bombed

2009-04-19T02:31:00.000-07:00

They are back, those pesky swallows. They have been doing their aerial acrobatics all over the stable, above my head. They built a nest last year on the girders running around the top of the barn - there are about 4 nests in all - and one of them is right above my stable.....

They make a dreadful chit chat noise all the time, waking me up, can't even dose early in the morning once it is light as they are up before me and flying around and chittering and chattering away.

Mum says they are lovely, a protected species, and while they make a bit of mess by not being house trained....they make a mess of my lovely clean rugs.....she says that we should welcome their arrival as the beginning of spring/summer and the end of the horrible winter. I think I should have protection from them, getting me up early. I need my beauty sleep.

Vodka Rhapsody in Green

2009-04-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

Now rug number two is rather bright.....it is a very vivid green, and I am not sure it would be my first choice.....but on the other hand, it fits me very nicely and is nice and warm, and comes down and covers my knees and keeps the Vodka tummy (which keeps getting bigger) nice and warm. Mum is complaining that one of the rugs she bought me is now TOO SMALL!

Anyway what do you think? I'll be OK on St Patrick's Day I suppose......

Vodka Donkey New Rugs

2009-04-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

It's the time of year when winter rugs can be very 'favourably priced' and my skinflint mum has been bargain hunting to ensure that the Vodka donkey is ready for next winter. We haven't quite got rid of this winter, but there is she beavering away to equip the donkey team for the rigours of winter 2009.

As many of my clothes are hand me downs from long dead donkeys - I suppose we have to slum it a bit but really as a famous donkey, I really should be going to Saville Row and get properly measured up so that the cut will be perfect for me. Instead I have to put up with ready to wear.....

Well my first rug is a keep the shavings off my long coat rug. Mum says that she is fed up having to clean me up every morning as when I got to sleep, I get absolutely plastered with shavings, so I now have a smart checked lightweight pair of jim jams to keep my lovely long coat shavings free. Actually I think it is just laziness on her part, as I really quite enjoy being combed but there we are. Wear it I must.

Rosie Does Pink Nose Day

2009-03-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Never mind Red Nose Day, it's Pink Nose Day for Rosie. It's the time of year when that dreaded muzzle comes out of its box and onto the Rosie conk. Sadly March/April are her trigger months for laminitis, and having had this horrible disease twice, and been box rested for more than 18 months in total, she doesn't want to have it again.

Rosie's choices are stark - don't eat grass, or very little of it or die. Very simple really. It makes managing her a perpetual fight against nature, as Rosie loves grass. But it makes her tootsies so sore and one of these days she could have such a bad attack that it would be the bad lorry for Rosie as she won't recover. The pictures taken of her tootsies show that the bones in her hooves really don't like grass, and when they get upset, it causes her immense pain, and she has to stay in the stable, for months on end, with painkillers, and lots of bedding under her poor feet to make them less sore. The last time it happened, mum said it cost her almost £100 in getting lots of bedding to make what they call a deep litter, about 18 inches deep, so that Rosie was on all this nice soft wood shavings, that acts as a big cushion for her sore sore toes.

So she has choices to make - no muzzle and turned into what is currently Spencer's Naughty Paddock - this is a bare muddy paddock with no grass on it. When Spencer strays out of the special sheep field and comes into the stables looking for company, he is put in the naughty paddock until whatever time the next sheep feeding takes place - he then goes back following the feed bucket to his friends. He even spent an overnight in the naughty paddock, as after dinner, he jumped through the fence and came down to the barn to see if there was anything else to eat. Dim he is, he forgets about the loneliness of the naughty paddock until he is back in it again, then he remembers for about 48 hours, then forgets again.

This could be the Rosie Rescue paddock she could live in there with no muzzle and eat hay - boring, and it will get very muddy particularly if she and Spencer decide to charge around together. It is very small, but perfectly appointed with good views and a strong fence.

Another alternative is that an electric fenced small paddock is put in one of the donkey paddocks, so she can be in there and only have a little bit to eat of fresh grass and the fence gets moved every now and then. The disadvantage of this is it is a lot of work for mum and dad, having to keep moving the fence, and if the daft neddy decides to walk through it, jump over it or whatever and get into the lovely new grass, it could be curtains for her.

The current alternative is that she goes into the big field, as usual with the rest of us, but she wears the pink muzzle. She can run around and be free, and she can eat, but it slows her down a huge amount, so she gets very little grass, then she comes home at night and eats her hay and that tops her up. This is usually her preferred health care option though she doesn't like this pink muzzle at all.

It had to be a pink one as she learnt how to undo the black one, broke the straps and generally worked out how to lose it and it is very hard to find in a very big field....mum says the last time it got lost it took her over an hour to find it...so this very bright pink one should be easier at least.

Rosie spends a lot of time working out how to remove the muzzle - she can stand on the bit behind her chin and then raise her head and hope this undoes the velcro strap that goes behind her ears. She can get down and roll vigorously and hope that she can dislodge it.

There is a much easier way but we haven't told her yet. She could ask an obliging young donkey to grab the strap and pull it over her ears and off. Given my talents for undressing Ferguson and removing his rugs - whether he wants me to or not - taking Rosie's muzzle off would pose no difficulty whatsoever to an intelligent donkey like the Vodka. But it is much more fun to tease the silly girl, particularly as she came into MY stable tonight and tried to eat my treacly mineral lick - now that is completely out of order. At one stage Rosie, Aimee, Ferguson and I were all fighting for the mineral lick in my stable and Dad was trying very hard to get the raiding Rosie out of our stable. Of course a treacly sugary lick is also not good for Rosie's laminitis, it is almost the equine equivalent of death by chocolate.

Mum arrives, fixes Rosie with a look, clicks fingers and Rosie wanders off into her own stable. Mum says she is taking the Michael. But where do they take the Michael to? I am confused. Does he go on the bad lorry?

It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To - Happy Birthday Vodka

2009-03-15T11:38:00.001-07:00

It's the official birthday of Vodka Donkey today, a year ago exactly I arrived in Dumfries & Galloway at my new home and met the Scottish stumpies Aimee and Ferguson.

I was an emaciated wreck of a donkey then, lights out, at the end of the road mentally, I had given up on life totally and whatever was to happen, get it over with. I had wintered out in France and was so thin, there was just a skeleton with some mangy fur on top. You could see every single bone in my body I was so so poor. Everyone cried when they saw me.

Now I am a fat pudding, groomed and sleek and no tangles in my long coat. My lights are on full beam and I have found my horn as well! On Friday, I did lots of galloping and bucking and kicking just to show how well I am and how happy I am. Poor Fergusin got chased up and down, with his little short legs trying to go faster, as I swung from his neck leaving teeth marks. N.B. must try to be more careful with Ferguson as he is tiny and I am so much faster.

I go out during the day into a big field and come in at night to a warm bed and my food which I have learnt is for sharing, not just for Vodka. I have rugs for all weathers (some I don't quite approve of as no one took me to the shops to let me select the colour and style) and generally I have nothing much to complain about, except perhaps getting my feet trimmed - I feel I should be going to a beauty salon but this man comes and wrestles with my feet and I don't appreciate it - I see myself in a chair, feet up, having my hair done, tooties painted pink etc.....oh well.

I was promised a party but I said no. I have everything I need or want thank you.

So for me, Vodka the sensitive kind donkey, it's a day to reflect on MY good fortune. I got the magic spankled banner that said reserved and from then on, since Robert came and picked me up, I have known nothing but kindness and love. I may not always understand what is being said to me, but I understand that I was SAVED and rehabilitated and given a future.

My life is now one big party, I am free to do what I want every day, with my friends, even if sometimes the weather doesn't cooperate. Instead, today I am going to think about all my friends who didn't get saved, who did go on the bad lorry and who will continue to go on the bad lorry - I know that my life changed forever when I appeared on the ES site and someone out there wanted to help me. I don't need balloons, carrots, apples, cakes, all I needed was that special spangled banner that said Reserved. If I had a cake and blew out the candles, my wish would be for all the horses in the world to have a special spangled banner to protect them all their lives - do wishes come true?

Sam Kills A Robin

2009-03-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

Mum is very upset today - she has been feeding the wild birds and has two robins who come for feeding, one of them was a plump, friendly bird who flew in and out of the barn, eating corn, generally being very interested in what we are doing.

This morning Sam the cat comes trotting into the office with the robin in his mouth....sadly it was dead.

Oh dear, what to do, feed them and put them at risk or not feed them so they will stay away.

If only Sam would take an interest in the rodent population.

Woolly Jumpers - The Black Sheep of the Family

2009-03-08T10:35:00.001-07:00

This is Spencer, in disgrace, renamed Houdini.

He is a lamb on a mission, to destroy gardens, and generally be a pest. Mum says this is a very dangerous thing for a lamb to be.....And there is a very convenient market 20 miles away where he could go on a one way trip.....

Of course we all know that she wouldn't do it.

Woolly Jumpers - The Rest of the Gang

2009-03-08T10:24:00.001-07:00

Here is a nice picture of the gang all together.

The litte guy on the far left is Frank, then Marks, then Noona, with the black sheep of the family, Spencer.

Woolly Jumpers - Betty Spencer

2009-03-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

This is Betty Spencer, she is the flock leader and a very smart sheep.

She takes no nonsense from anyone and is a very calm and focussed herd leader who keeps the young ram raiders in line.

Five Ba Gate

2009-03-08T10:08:00.000-07:00

Spencer, our black sheep of the family (who happens to be white) is in big trouble again.

He has continued to leap through the gate and try to eat the newly planted willow.....

Even when the fence is electrified, he managed to squeeze between the top bar and the second bar - very skillful.

Now today it was very very cold with snow and generally freezing - me I wanted to come in from the field early as it seemed daft to be out there in the snow, ankles numb, when I could be indoors, with a big haynet and warm and toasty.

Mum and dad spent ages, putting in another strand all along the electric fence, and then putting two more of these gate thingies on so it is now a five ba gate - we'll see if he gets through this.

Otherwise I can see the lamb chop and mint sauce option looming......

Ziggy Is Not Up To The Job

2009-03-08T04:54:00.000-07:00

Our chief feline rodent office, Ziggy, the daft Burmese blue, has failed in his duties to protect the barn from rodent invasion. As you can see from the picture above, Ziggy may be in the wrong job.

His excuse is that he is understaffed, overworked, unpaid, never gets a day off, and the recruitment campaign to find him some helpers has failed miserably, as the two daft feral kittens have turned into stay at home don't go out lazy cats, and the one that is willing to come outdoors and patrol is daft as a brush and in terms of rodent control as useless as a chocolate teapot. He makes so much noise announcing he is there, that the mice have plenty of time to leave home and find a safe place out of the way of a feline inspection.

Sam the black and white Felix cat is exactly like the one on TV, daft, google eyes, full of fun, not a brain cell to rattle. Fudge, his brother, is Horatio from CSI Miami, so laid back he is horizontal. Fudge's idea of a heavy day is posing in a sunbeam, with our without his sunglasses. Bunny, the other black and white one, is dangerous outside - climbing up trees, falling out of trees (trip to vet Bank Holiday Monday) - falling in ponds (discovering that despite belief cats do not walk on water...). She is best to stay inside as it keeps the vet bills down though lying on the hob is not the best idea - fortunately it has a child lock on it and Bunny so far hasn't worked out how to remove it. Lying on top of the Aga only works for a while then there is a distinct singeing of Bunny fluff. She and Sam have a lot in common in the Mensa department.

The latest rodent control failure happened yesterday - Mum had to move the lawnmower when our hay was delivered, under the lawnmower she found a nest of mice. Tiny baby mice, eyes not even open yet. Being a softy, she put them in a safe place in the hope their mum would come back for them. But as she says, when you employ a team of rodent control professionals, and give them board and lodging, you expect results.

Ziggy's explanation is that of course being a mere cat, he is not expected to tunnel through concrete under the mower in order to unearth a nest of mice. While he has a point about that, the mice have got so complacent that they are even committing suicide by jumping into water buckets and drowning themselves. Mum says she really does not appreciate seeing this first thing in the morning.

Maybe a job for Spencer.

Ziggy would like to post some pictures of his co-workers so that you can evaluate their suitability as serious rodent control operatives.